You Are Here.

are you here?

i just read you are here again.
the story would make me feel better.
no matter how depressed or sad i am.
but today,
it didnt work.
instead, it made me feel worst.
much much worst.
the plot of this simple story reminded me of him.
it's just the way that the author emphasised on first love,
that it reminded me of his story with his first love.
yeah, i must admit.
their story was a very sweet one.
and a pitiful one.
their story should nv have ended that way.
the incident should nv have happened.
he would have perhaps be smiling everyday, living in bliss with her.
i know, i would nv have met him if it didnt happened.
but so? at least he would be happy with the one he loved.
the one that he has truly loved all his life.
yes, i know he said that all his current gf would be placed infront of her.
but still, first love, true love, would always be the first place in him.
nothing can ever take the place of her.
i knew at once when he told me about her.
i knew that nothing can ever take her place.
yet, i still demanded so much from him.
i went overboard.
actually, i would nv have known him.
i wasnt even supposed to go to Escape in the first place.
if this isnt fate,
then i dont know what it really is.
i wasnt even planning to go Escape in the first place,
if it wasnt the constant bugging of bearbear for me to go Escape,
i would nv have went.
the possibility of me going to Escape that day was so slim.
i planned to stay at home that saturday,
to study, to revise, to finish all the March Holiday Homework.
dont call me a bookworm!
i didnt touch my homework for a full 7days!
and, i hadnt even recovered from my ankle injury.
yet, i ignored the pain and went for the outing.
everything was planned,
i knew what i was going to wear.
something casual, something that brought out the hyper personality in me.
however, my mom refused at the very last minute.
saying that i didnt complete my work.
i cried. i really cried.
i wondered why my mom was always interfering in my business.
however, 5 mins later. i dried my tears.
i refuse to submit towards her.
i pulled out my homework and worked like nv before.
i was determined to go out.
for the first time in my life,
i completed my A Math, my E Math, my Chem in less than 1 & 1/2 hours.
i even wrote finish a 8-page Chinese Essay in less than an hour.
this was a miracle.
it normally took me 2 hours to fill up 2 pieces of paper.
finally, my mom saw my determination and submitted to my request.
my father promised to fetch me there.
i thought that there was nothing more to worry.
what i had nv expected,
was my father hearing the wrong destination.
he was so furious when he heard that he drove to the wrong location.
i got blamed for no reason.
i rmb saying specifically where the destination was.
luckily, i found the location on the road directory,
and it was also quite near to the wrong location.
so my father drove me there.
upon walking towards Escape,
i sprained my ankle the second time.
couldnt help it.
i was injured in the first place, and i was not even supposed to go out.
the doc gave me a 1-week MC.
and she specifically instructed NOT to go out for that whole week.
and NOT to remove the bandage.
well, i was nv one to heed the words of a doctor.
and with the backing of my mischievous behavior,
i cant help but do the opposite of what others say.
i nv imagined myself to get emotionally attached to him.
on that saturday,
he was the only one who really LOOKED and SPOKE like a guy.
he was the only one who was less geek and is older than me,
compared to the rest of the guys.
and he was the only one who thinks normally,
at least think alike as me.
the rest.. i think i better not mention.
that saturday,
i felt very secured around him.
i didnt know why.
i seldom went out till so late,
because i was always afraid of the indian workers around the district.
i've heard tales from my mother,
that the indian workers tailed girls from my area.
i mean come on,
one of the girls was my next-door neighbour?!
how was i suppose to NOT freak out.
who told those idiot neighbours who want to show off their fking money,
to keep renovating their houses.
such that a pretty stretch of 2 rows of 2-storeys terraces got destroyed.
now, it's a ugly stretch of 2 rows of 2 or 3 storey terraces.
the uniformity was destroyed.
all thanks to No.80.
that idiot owner started the chain and fashion of having 3-storey terrace houses.
extra people.
wished they nv moved here.
anyway, back to the story.
even sitting the MRT home myself freaked me out.
i heard from Mich that there was once,
when she was taking the MRT to school.
she was standing near to the metal pole,
so that she could grip it for support.
and then there was this indian guy standing near too.
and he was also gripping the metal pole.
i know, you're thinking..
hey! this is no big deal what!
BUT! the indian guy kept placing his hands on mich's hands.
when mich moved her hands to grip the lower part of the metal pole,
he moved his hands to the lower part as well.
when mich moved her hands to grip the upper part of the metal pole,
he moved his hands to grip the upper part as well.
MRTs are not always as safe and prevert-free as we think they are.
anyway, Alexx saw me to CCK mrt station.
to be honest,
i wasnt even sure what bus from Escape to the nearest MRT station as well.
lucky he was there with me, or i would nv have gotten home.
having him right there beside me,
was really a blessing.
i must admit that at that point of time,
i thought,
hey! if this guy was mine, i would be the luckiest girl in the world.
but sad for me at that point of time.
he had a gf already.
so my thinking was..
AWW! Bad news girl. sad for you! ><
but the good thing was,
heaven did give me a chance with him after all.
yeah it was only for a month.
but it was a really happy month for me :)
would nv have regretted it.
would only have wanted more of it!

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