Is this the truth this time? Or simply just another lie?

the truth or a lie?

the phrase..
up to you
isnt really working out for me.
it is no where close to allowing me to differ btw a lie and the truth.
how do you expect me to come up with a reasonable answer in this case?
i cant not believe you, yet its hard for me to trust you as well.
this is really giving me a headache.
oh, and thanks for adding my list of illness.
this is what happens when I..
1. Insist on going to a bbq party
2. Eat all the burnt things at a bbq party.
3. Take a icy swim in the middle of the night.
4. Sleep at 3am in the Morning
5. Refuse to take any Medication the next day

the result of the 5 things mentioned above?
1. SEVERE sore throat
2. feel Lethargic for the whole day
3. Fever!
4. Flu
5. Cold

what a wonderful way to RUIN my Saturday.
i think i'm beginning to hate Saturdays.
why does everything happen on a Saturday?
i'm really starting to fear the next Saturday.
should probably turn my phone off the next saturday.
getting a saturday night phobia now.
receiving all kinds of unexpected news during saturdays.
starting to freak me out already!
hmm, its 2am in the morning.
& i'm no where near the word TIRED.
guess the night's event have kept me wide awake.
keep thinking about what happened.
can it be for real this time? its quite a risk..
BAHH!! dont want to think about it.
GIRL. forget it for now.
you've got to..
C-O-N-C-E-N-T-R-A-T-E !
whats your motivation? whats your aim?
get them clear. get yourself heading in that direction.
dont lose focus.
it isnt the time to be distracted now.
got ZERO time to lose.
i might be HAPPY, i might be SMILING.
but who knows how i really feel inside?
even i have NIL clues to how i'm really feeling right now.
i'm all CONFUSED. all MESSED-UP.

the scars from my injury are still there.
yeah, i did it like.. 2weeks ago? or was it 3weeks?
i cant remember.. its starting to heal already.
far time it should. nv expected it to take this long.
can only see faint signs of what happened.
hey, i'm not a complete idiot.
once is enough for me, thank you.
it hurt me badly enough.
AND. it was not for my personal reason.
so please do not mistake me
as some kind of KLUZ who resort to these stupid means.

As i'm sitting here typing away.
at this ungodly hour of the day。
i'm hugging my 猪猪.
or more like it's resting on my lap.
kind of the same thing yeah?
well, i was thinking.
this PIG has to receive some credit.
its been accompanying for quite a no. of nights already.
time for it to get some acknowledgement from people.
so i decided to post a picture of it.
CUTE EH? just like how a pig is suppose to be.
its gonna be right beside me again,
when i sleep tonight.
being very dependent on it lately.
cant get to sleep without it.
needless to say,
if it wasnt by my side.
i have no idea how i would have gotten past these few nights.
it's always right here by me when i need it.
and it will always be somewhere close to me..
right where it belongs..
right here, in my heart..

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