i'm desperado.

its not just a WANT, its a #1 NEED!

i'm in some desperate need of a new blogskin?
perhaps its due to that and me being lazy,
that im getting no money from nuffnang.
booooooo. bah, i'm just giving crap excuses.
i'm starting to, once again, find my blog in a mess.
too many stuff in one website.
and adding to the fact that i'm lazy to re-arrange stuff.
oh whatever. getting kind of bored looking at the same thing too.
music box at the top left.
disclaimer and introduction on the top right.
profile and etc. on the column at the left.
the entries on the right....
i'm just used to this arrangement of stuff.
and i dont plan to change it. not one bit.
but i am planning to you know...
change how things look like.
perhaps, add a liliputian billboard at the top?
oh well, i'll need photos for that!
got some photo-editing to do. but first of, I'LL NEED PHOTOS.

i did mention that.. my sony e phone died didnt i?
yes, i did. getting a little senile >< anyway, thanks hon! for the digital camera!
you're the besttttttttt! actually, you always are!

yeahhhhhhhhhh! got proper camera to use to take many many photographs.
i'm elated.

using that word deliberately, because i've got a little story to tell.
i taught my father that word a few weeks ago.
the vocabulary that he has is sadly,(no offence!) limited.
he was telling my mom about,
her and something something..happy. (i cant remember about what. sorry!)
all you ever hear is, happy happy happy.
gets kind of tiring and boring when you hear that word one too many times.
a little too common, dont you find it?
back to the story.
so i told him to say elated instead of happy.
it has the same meaning as happy, or so.
anyway, he started pronouncing it in the car.
E-LETED. (no dad. it's E-LATED.) A-LATED (E daddy. E.)
E-LAITED. (ah, whatever. sounds rather like. great job daddy!)

and he went on repeating it while driving his Merz.
thank goodness i had my MP3 with me. :P
main point: i'm on that bad in vocabulary after all.

about that digital camera...
i've got to be wayyyyyyy careful with it.
i almost lost its cover when i used it for the first time.
panicked when i found that i lost it.
hon walked up and down the way we came down previously so many times!
thank goodness for kind souls in the world.
this lady from the shoe shop nearby saw it, picked it up and kept it for us.
and yeap, she returned it and we got it back!
breathed a huge sigh of relief then.
pity, i forgot to take photos. ><
its alright... i will the next time.

i'm in the mood for story-writing.
in a two-way mind if i should or should not..
heck. i shall follow what my heart says.
i'm going.. ALL THE WAY.

hey hun.


as usual. you look real cute.
and dont worry. your hair is perfectly fine.
it aint messed up or anything although you just woke up from a nap. :P
anyway.. in a month's time, i'd be in that room.
just you wait hun.
and quit being a spoiltsport.
i told you i want to see the room for myself,
and you end up swerving the webcam around.
showing me the whole room and introducing me to the places.
bah..... all i wanted was to be there myself and go..
and you had to ruined it. boooooooooooooooooooo!
oh well.. i shant murder you yet.
since i need you to bring me around Aussie.
but on the last day........ hehehehehehe...
you wait hun. you're going to be the one crying this time.
not me.
and i'm gonna make a 100% sure that.
i'll take photos of those tears streaming down your face.
hey. i can hear those swears and curses alright.
if i'm evil, you're no better.
since i'm a devil, you're a devil as well.
because you are after all. my cousin (:

and i've bothered to get a countdown timer! what about you?!

when i hear my favourite songs..


as a perfectionist.
yes, i want everything to be perfect and fabulous!
i'm just joking.
i think i've watched one too many high school musicals.
although i've only watched... 2?

its the Chemistry 'O' Level paper 2 today.
i wont say that i'll do badly.
but neither would i say that i'd be brilliantly,
since no one ever knows what would ever happen.
so i'll just say.. i did okay.
although okay isnt really a proper description.
but.. who cares?!
i'm gonna be taking both the English papers tomorrow.
break a leg..
gonna have to start reading through
the National Geographic magazines that i borrowed from honey.
got quite a stack to clear. and tons of pages to read.. (uh-oh!)

okay. this is getting real boring.
even i'm getting bored typing this post.
seems more like im scheduling my life.
instead of recording my thoughts and whatsoever.
so i'm set to do a little writing for myself.
and for today. the topic will be..

hey! i'm sorry people.
but thats the only thing that i have in mind right now.
excluding him..? you gotta forgive me! :X

whenever i spoke of the O levels in the past,
i'd be like.. OH NO! that dreadful examination..
spend 10 years preparing for that exam.
that exam is my everything. flunk it and my life is over.
lousy grades in Os means failure in life.
in short terms, loser.
so i keep thinking, i gotta excel in this examination.
got to mug mug mug.
yet somehow, my mind and my bod aint cooperating.
they are not working in the same direction.
till.. recently. somehow, with a motivator/supporter.
things seems easier to get done.
and im more determined to complete them as well.
in the past, i'd be... OH! 11PM. STOP STUDYING. TIME FOR BED.
now im.. OH! 11 PM. BETTER FASTER MUG. still got alot things to mug!
what 2 different mindsets i have.
anyway, the examinations are only for.. 4 weeks?
no biggie... right?
someone please tell me that the mindset im having is correct!
i better get back to mugging.

well.. once again,BREAK A LEG.
its better if i can break both of them!
but whats the use of breaking them,
when i still have got to take the examination no matter what?! oof!

a little photos for laugh.

she doesnt seem to have grown up at all. still the baby of our family!

all her skipping and cheekiness is reminding me of MY childhood.

the state of my table(s)in class. i sure am messy! :X

Mr Ngoh promised that for those who got As for the Math examination, he'd give them bananas. So, thats the explanation for the bananas in the class. Well, we're monkeys. Monkeys = Bananas = 4E4! :P







honey, you're 16 already.
in other terms, can watch NC16 movies already! LOL.
i'm sorry that i couldnt celebrate your birthday with you.
the most that i could do was to get you a birthday present,
a slice of cake, be the first person to wish you happy birthday
& to sing you a birthday song.
thank you. for being so understanding.
you were, obviously, unpleased that my exams crashed with your birthday.
yet you didnt say anything at all.
exactly how sweet can you be...?!
even though i've celebrated your birthday for you already.
and i'm going to celebrate it for you again.
but it just aint the same as celebrating it with you on the actual day itself, is it?
dont worry honey. i promise. next year. at this date.
i'll be right by you celebrating it for you alright?
sorry that you've got to make do with celebrating with your friends again ><
oh well.. at least you get your birthday strip! :P
anyway, happy birthday honey.

GENEVIEVE LIM. you're so gonna get it from me.


1. Do the "Letter MEME".
2. Tag no less than 5 other people.
3. Then copy the "How-to" Letter Meme, and finish your Journal entry.


Dear (the last person who text messaged you):

I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) (11).

-Your name-


1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

Dear Kenny honey:

I don't really know how to tell you this, but
I'm selling myself. I think I realized it when i changed tennis shoes in your camping car and I saw you carve your initials into my avocado plant. I'm sure you're frostbitten enough to understand that i'm open. I'm returning the pictures from LA to you, but I'll keep your grades from college as a memory. You should also know that I will tell the authorities about to hate the Boston Celtics

Greetings to your frog Leonard




okay. so i told honey about this yesterday.
and he started doing it for me.
well, he got pretty much of them correct.
so yeah, my honey knows me a hell lot!
good thing he didnt screw me alive.
because this letter.. is really.. crap.
its seriously even crappier and much more nonsensical than me.
for the people i tagged.
happy doing! :DDDDD


P.S. i'm being whiny again. boooooooooooo ><

Au Revoir..

Can you believe it..? its the last day of SCHOOL...

this is directed mainly to graduating students.
its our last day in a secondary school.
its the last day of our secondary school life.
no matter how much we want, we'd never be able to pursue that kind of life ever again.
for now, just think. what you've gone through for the past 4 years.
without a single warning, time flies.
you led a hectic life for 4 bloody years.
yes, perhaps you can let out a big sigh of relief.
but think again. you will never get a chance to lead that life again.
among all the hectic, havent you had your share of fun and laughter?
enjoyable moments with your friends, classmates and teachers?
moments that you'll never forget.. memories that you'll keep for life.

yesterday, on my way home with SinHui, down the staircase..
i saw Pearl..
i bid her byebye then feigned that i didnt hear her bidding farewell to me.
she, as per usual, went into her dramatic character.
she rushed down the staircase with her arms still full of the guides cookies tins.
requested SinHui to help hold them for a moment.
and poof! she embraced me really tightly, reluctant to let go.
i must admit, it really was rather embarrassing since she did that at the foyer,
with a whole bunch of people looking. or should i say staring.
ah well.. embarrassing though it was.. it really was touching of her to do that.
i am still gonna see her for the next 4 weeks.
and perhaps, even much later on in life.
but i get why she is doing that. its the last day of our days together in Secondary school.
i bonded with Pearl through Guides.
the crazy days that we went through together. all the madness and laughter.
the silly things that we did. the crappy stuff that we said. the nonsensical stuff that we looked at.
all of it.. was really memorable.
they are parts and portions of life that i dont wanna ever forget.
i dont know about her. but i dont wanna ever lose contact with her.
she is one of the best girlfriend that i've ever had.
being there for me when i'm at the downest moments of my life.
going through them with me. she understood me perfectly well.
she saw through all the pseudo-smiles and saw the real me. the me crying deep within my heart.
i never had much of an opportunity to thank her,
for all the wonderful memories that she has given me.
so right here, right now.
i wanna say this to her..

Pearlie, thanks. For everything. For every single thing. I LOVE YOU GIRL!

Sony Ericsson phones are pathetic.


i'm pissed.
so darn pissed.
whats with all the mobile phones recently?!?!
if there aint sth wrong here, there'll be sth wrong there.
lets talk about my 5300 XpressMusic Nokia phone.
the connection of the lighting of the LCD screen went haywire.
which means, it functions without any lights for the screen.
oh, you may think. no light so what? still can use what..
well, indeed it can still be used.
but its super inconvenient.
because its so dark without the lightings,
that you've got to strain your eyes just to be able to read whats on the screen.
yes. its that bad. and trust me. you wont wanna be in that situation.
next, the K800i Sony Ericsson phone.
i'm seriously irritated with that phone.
it bid farewell to me without a single warning.
i was just happily typing away an sms.
then it hanged. and crashed!
just like that. maddening. without a single shit warning.
and mind you. i treat that phone like god.
have yet to drop it on the floor for even once!
i was really really careful in handling it.
and it simply blanked out on me for no reason at all.
i cant even turn it on now.
so i figured, since it crashed on me without any warning.
there is no longer a neccessity to be nice to it.
so i started banging away on it. yet, it was still of no avail.
called deardear to whine. and while whining, i continued banging.
he said i was violent, but who cares?!
eventually i stopped because what he said was right.
banging aint gonna help. it might instead, make the situation even worst.

i dont care. i'm so gonna repair that phone.
even if the warranty period is over. I WANT THOSE PHOTOS.
i'm gonna ask them to save those photos in the phone memory, no matter what.
thank god, i sent most of them to Jiakang already.
just have to get them back from him.
i'm feeling so darn bad now.
the photos of the class..... i'm so sorry 4E4 ><

Especially when I love you.

Sometimes in life, we've got to simply have a bigger heart.

let me first quote something that my dad just said a few moments ago.

Dad: "You are courting your own death if you eat that thing!"

you might ask right now.
what thing is she eating?!
well.. last night. i started craving for cold things.
i dont mean those kind of cold drinks, jelly or whatever.
something..freezing cold. something.. icey..
i was craving for ice.
so i started messing around the kitchen again.
there were (sadly) no carbonated drinks or whatever to be found.
so i started playing around with the milo powder that i found.
milo is my grandmother's energizer drink.
and let me put this first.
i used a whole lot of her milo powder.
i made myself a big mug of the milo drink.
left it aside to cool down. then i chucked it in the fridge.
i planned to eat it after it got frozen.
because, i'm studying till like 3-4AM every single weekend.
so yeah. the coldness could wake me up when i'm starting to get sleepy.
but the problem is. i forgot about this yummy desert.
i was too..distracted over something else.
anyway, i just remembered it so i took it out to eat.

back to why its going to kill me.
i'm having my periods now.
which means that i'm suppose to abstain from anything cold.
or else,
i'd be rolling around in bed,
hugging my tummy and complaining about stomach cramps later on.
but god.
but i do care about one thing.
the lectures that i'm bound to receive from my boyfriend later. oof!
oh well.. thats LATER.
meanwhile.. i'm gonna enjoy my desert for now.

you just wasted 3 minutes of your life reading all that crap. ha!
but you enjoyed it didnt you? :D
a piece of good news first.
and here comes the bad news.
IT AINT CONFIRMED. (booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.)
my parents went out just now.
i didnt know for what reason since i was too busy being depressed.
[ dont worry people, i'm perfectly fine right now. PMS you know... its the nature of a girl to be that way once a month. bear with it. because you simply have to. just like how my boyfriend has to. mwahahahahahha! ]
anyway, they apparently went out to view an apartment.
and. except for the price.
now i'm praying that the seller would agree to reduce the price by a little bit.
i'm gonna move. i'm gonna move. i'm gonna moveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
i know. overly-enthusiastic.
but i really cant help it.
try being coped up at where i'm living now for... 5 months?
you'd be as insane as me. or probably even worst.
be thankful that you aint me. and accept my insanity.
i dont have my own bloody room at here.
i dont have any personal space or whatever.
all of my stuff are strewn all over the place.
a little at my parents' room.
a little at the study room.
a little at the room i share with my aunt and my sister.
its not like i dont wanna group all of my stuff together at one place.
the thing is. there aint any bloody space in this small little apartment.
try accomodating 6 adults and 1 kid (yes, thats me. i'm still not yet 16. so i'm considered a kid.)
in this (considered really spacious) 5-room apartment.
although there are 3 bedrooms, 1 study room, 1 spacious living room, 1 balcony, 1 dining room, 1 kitchen, 2 bathrooms and.. whatever other space that its called in this apartment.
its still about (no offence here.) the size of my ground floor back at the old house.
maybe... even a little bit smaller.
so yeah. imagined how cramped it is.
the good thing is. i'm moving out of here soon. WOOOOOOTS!

the O Levels are arriving really really soon.
if i were to judge in a positive manner,
all my miseries are about to end in a month's time. (yeah!)
if i were to judge in a negative manner,
the Os are in 9 days time! (boooooooo.)
oh well.. i've got no idea if i should panic or be relieved.
getting mixed feelings. its as though i'm feeling hot and cold at the same time. weird.....
and oh no!
physics! and humanities! screwed.
i am mugging hard on these 2 major subjects which i am superb crappy at.
speaking of physics.
reminds me of him.
hmm... in front of me now, is a beam balance.
i'm weighing the consequences of what i'm about to do.
should i or should i not...?
heck. i'll face his whines later.
here i go...................

anyone wanna make a guess what this is?
its a new dish at sakae sushi..

a little clue..
it came from inside that bowl of rice that he's eating..

mischief managed.

okay. i better get back to my revision.

P.S. that "new dish" is actually all the slices of onions that he took out from his bowl of rice. he is the BIGGEST ANTI-ONION person i've ever known.

tags replied.

its always the same thing happening.

before i start my daily rant/update.
i needa reply a couple of tags.
not that i dont wanna do it in the chatbox.
but there are too many people that i've got to reply to.
so i might as well get it done here.
plus, i'm making things easier for those who tagged as well!
okay. enough crap. and nonsense.


To Xuhao: The faster I die, the faster you're gonna follow me as well. Since i am afterall, only 3 years older than you. :D

To Genevieve: Ignore that lil brat. He just speaking nonsense. He knows very well that he cant live without his big sister (: AND. My O Levels are not in 6 days dear. They are in 9 more days' time. You've messed the schedule up. LOL.

To Hime: Hey dear! Thanks for dropping by. EOYS over already, so that means you're mad over Audition again? LOL. Jyjy then.

To Lexus: If our lil brother doesnt say that, he is definitely having a HIGH fever. For him to look mature, think mature and talk with maturity? It simply isnt possible. Yeah, i know that House Bunny sucks. Kenny watched it already and he told me about it. Thank god I didnt watch it he says. But still.. I WANNA WATCH IT.

To Xuhui: Hey lil sister, you're more than welcome. Hope you liked what I've done for you in your blog. And cheer up alrights? :D

To Zen: Xiaodidi ar... no need worry about me. I'm pretty much fine. I'm forever complaining and ranting about life. I cant really much help it, since its human nature to do that. Thanks for your concern anyway. cheerios. And yes, I owe you a tag. But i'll give you more than just A tag. Just you wait! ^^


Needa give back my attention to my boyfriend.
He's been patiently waiting for me on the other side of the phone.
Whilst i'm typing away all these replies here. OOPS! ><

the sky above my head.

this is the story of love.

Artist: Westlife
Song: Story of Love

This is the Story Of Love
Let's make it last forever
You hold the words that mean so much
Let's make a vow together
When me world falls behind
I just look into those eyes
And see the story of love

Now is the moment
I've been waiting for
when dreams they come to life
No hesitation, only open doors
You pushed those doubts aside
Somehow you always feel
What's on my mind
Seems like this consequence
Came right on time


Running in circles
Felt like eternity
Indecision led my mind
But you hold the window to all remedies
And filled that space inside
Somehow you turned the page
To the other side
What was an empty place
Is now filled with life


No more illusions
Brought down and divide
With you, my baby
All my confusions pushed aside

(Chorus Acappella)


whoever that wants this song.
tag me. i'll send it to you.
dont try to search for it online.
i almost puked blood searching for this song.
now i get why they say, things which are nice are hard to get.
and its because of that reason why the song aint in my music player.
apparently, no one in myflashfetish has uploaded that song.
and the only format there is for the song is WMA.
well, thats what i found anyway.
this song is seriously harddddd to find.
because it is a bonus soundtrack.
it aint in any of the albums.
hmm, lets see.. i tried searching for the song with..
limewire, youtube, baidu
bah.. that sense of satisfaction when i found the song.
beyond description.

i cant think straight now.
i'm freaking out.
i'm worried.
i'm confused.
i'm afraid.
i'm scared.
oh fuck. whats wrong with me.
i hate being left in isolation.
damn, this feeling sucks.

and. just like what gen said.
this is my blog.
i write what i wanna write.
i express whatever thoughts that is in my mind.
heck to all those who reads and are unhappy.
you've been given a choice to read, or to scram.
pick either one.
whether you're happy anot, this is my life.
i've got the freedom of speech.
i choose to say what i want to.
i choose to speak as i please.

i've got no idea what crap i'm ranting.
since all i know is that my mind is all blank.
a charge of fury is going around within me.
i hate. no, make that detest.
bah.. whatever word that has a seriously strong meaning of dislike.
being talk to in a "gangster" way.
the epitome of languages. take english for one.
whats with all the leh, lor, lah.
thats singlish. and to what i know.
there aint such a language in the world.
thats bullshit language.
speak properly. minus all those extra and unneccessary words and expressions.
add in neccessary words to make the sentence sound proper and refine.
and. for goodness sake.
use a better tone when speaking to me. dont give me that ahbeng, ahlian tone.
it simply makes my blood boil.
perhaps in the past, i might have been able to tolerate that kind of tone.
that kind of attitude.
but not now. i'm sick of receiving that kind of thing.
thank Alexx for it.
somehow, the more you listen, the more irritated you get.
and such irritation simply makes me wanna avoid such things.

i better shush up.
before i start swearing and cursing.
a day gone bad. and its going back good again.
because i want my day to end good.