Things which I need to say


I am game enough to admit to that. Yes, it probably isn't the wisest thing to do or to say or to even think, when you are trying to get over someone.. But hey, isn't a part of getting over, about coming clean with what you feel and how you think? I know what I'm losing out on, and instead of shutting it out and telling myself that "No, I shouldn't be thinking that way.", I am going to do the complete opposite by being totally honest about it. And so, there you go. Words from the bottom of my heart.

(I am thankful that you do not read my blog. Or at least, I don't think you do.)


Forget everything that I said the day before. All the religious questions which Joey bombarded at me, and my then-depressed mood must have made me mentally unsound. No, I still believe in all the Gods (yes I very much do). However there is a reason why I chose Buddhism. Ok fine, previously it was chosen for me by my parents, but now I AM choosing HAVE chosen it. And that is because, my Buddha also follows The Secret*. You know, before any of this, I have never once thought about what my religion is, what is real or what is not (btw, my stand that every God is real still remains firmly), what is my faith, what do I believe in.. and all the other religious questions there is in the world, however I can now answer all those questions. I am a philosophical religious follower, hence I choose to be a Buddhist. It feels really awesome knowing where I belong -- I guess that was what you meant when you were telling me about your faith, about your Father, about His love, about your love for Him, about how awesome you feel when you are in church; I now understand all of it. Even though the faith that I have chosen might will put a greater distance between us, and make everything truly impossible, I know that I am making the right choice. Afterall, I've grown up. I'm no longer that fool who gives in and gives up, for someone else.

I was like 'this close' to deleting that previous entry, but I decided to let it stay because it marks/proves my growth. Albeit I feel awfully stupid about it. #thecrazythingsIdo when I'm not in the right state of mind. *rolls eyes*

*The Secret is also known as the Law of Attraction.


Thank you, for letting me fly free like the birds in the sky, for not tying me down. You aren't the only one who isn't ready. In fact, on that first night, I couldn't stop thinking, is this what I really wanted? Do I really want to be tied down again? I've got to be honest that something in me didn't feel right, even though the whole magical feeling was more domineering. To me, being attached means being good, it means being an obedient little girl that all parents would fawn and coo over. Truth is, I like being bad, I like embracing the rebellious streak in me, I like being single. I have no intentions of making any changes to any of those in the near future. Albeit it is slightly annoying that everytime I go back to Esprit, my ex-colleagues would be all, "Why doesn't this pretty girl have a boyfriend yet?!". Seriously, I do not need a man to live. I am fine on my own. And I like being on my own. I get to snide at my attached-friends and show off how great singlehood is. I get to make decisions based on my own. And most importantly, I get to decide the pace of my life. Whether I want it slow, or fast. (Sidenote: Most of the time, I choose fast. I can't stand being slow. Probably an attribute of leading an urban lifestyle.) And so you see, how awesome it is. I don't need romance love to make my life exciting or interesting; I can make it equally, or perhaps even more, exciting AND interesting, with all the things that I have now.. Which are my friends, my family, giving love to everyone, my hobbies -- blogging, tumblr-ing -- and now, an addition to the list, my faith. Well actually, that faith has been there all along, it's just that I've never given much thought to it and much less see the need to give/find it a specific term, but well since I have now then ummm yay? Okay that was just so awkward.

Anyway I'll continue doing what I love/distributing my love around, and carry on leading my fast-paced life. Woohooo!

Need to start watching Pretty Little Liars and Gossip Girls, plus get more shoes and that strawberry perfume. Oh and, I NEED TO GET ANOTHER JOB. I can't stand being unemployed. I am going to rot to death at home due to boredom. Not forgetting how my sister is going to kill me when she gets home in a few hours time to find out that I have yet to have done any single research on our Taiwan trip. Shit. I am so gonna get majorly screwed.

I need booze, to make myself more stupid -- according to Bestie, alcohol will cause brain retardation. Being smart for the past few days, sucked. I love being oblivious to the outside world. Rosemount... Strawberry daiquiri... Vodka... Fyi, I am NOT an alcohol-addict, TYVM. But I love to drink. I guess it is a family trait. Heh!

Once again, I will turn my world into a simplistically crazy but fun place. Anyone wants to join in the fun? Give me a ring, or send me a text message. If I don't answer your phone call or reply you, it means you aren't cool enough to be in my world. Ooops, sucks to be you then!


P.S. I love being bitchy.

The theoretically right thing

Has it ever occurred to you that sometimes in our lives, we are meant to do something wrong? Would doing the right thing necessarily lead you to a happy ending? If that is the case, why did Ariel choose a mortal man even though she knew that it was wrong, instead of the theoretically correct choice -- a mer-man? And why is it that Prince Charming still went for Cinderella even though he knew that he should be choosing a princess, a duchess, or some other rich/royal lady to marry? If our lives are generally led by fairytales/fictional stories, then why is it that nothing in our lives has ever followed the storyline? In fact, everything that has happened is anything but anything in the stories.

Will you ever wonder why is it that instead of putting up a fight or any resistance at all, I raised the white flag and went with whatever you said? Will you ever know that what I felt was real and true? Will you ever know that even though it was merely a split second of sweetness before the walls came crashing down, I still enjoyed that split second, and I held it against my heart as though it was the best miracle that has ever happened, the best gift that has ever been given to me? Will you ever know that I actually wavered and even pondered if I could take a risk, take a gamble and give your faith a shot, just for you?

The thing you'll never know: I do believe in Him. My bestfriend will probably slaughter me after reading that sentence, but whatever. Last year, when I was trying so hard to keep myself alive amidst all the disastrous events, I turned to all the Gods for guidance. I know the question in your head, why all the Gods? Because I believe that every God is real. The belief in them is what makes and keeps them real. It isn't the scientific reasoning nor the physical history. In fact, every scientific reasoning is dubious because there will always be a doubt about one thing or another, a source of error in this or that. As for physical history, most of the supposed-facts which we gathered, are in bits and pieces, which we will then put together and create your so-called 'history'. Every piece of fact has its dubious points and bias side. Nothing in this world is a 100%. Even us, humans, we aren't a 100%. It is said that every human is half of a whole, because we are meant to look for our other half to make ourselves complete. I believe in Mother Nature, and because of that I believe in all the Gods. Every faith, every religion, is real. I am not going to stereotype or be bias against any one at all. This is my choice, my faith.

I'm not going to say 'okay' — because I'm supposed to — when I am obviously not okay at all.

P.S. Oh and, feelings are meant to be irrational. If they are rational, then they'd be anything but real and true.

A barrage of pictures

Behold, the long-awaited mega update! I was totally serious when I wrote that title (points on top). There are really many many many pictures, thanks to my laziness. Oooops! And somehow, I don't feel any bit guilty at all. Double oops!

Anyway, I'm gonna be reporting about 4 events. Try to keep up yeah?

One glorious night, three babes went out together to buy birthday presents for their other two darling girlfriends. Conveniently, they met up for dinner as well. I doubt I have to state the venue where they had their meal. If you still do not know by now, then omg I can't believe you are so dumb! *gives a horrified look*
But just in case, you are really that dumb and do not know, look at the first picture below.

*slaps forehead* I can't believe you were that dumb...

Anyway, proceeding on...

We had dinner at 313's The HandBurger outlet. I love the reflective wall tiles they have there!

Appetizers! Top up either $4 or $6, and you'll get a set meal with your chosen appetiser and a drink!
I chose... (drumrolls) CHUNKY MUSHROOM SOUP! I love mushrooms. *smack lips*

Main course: Chicken Caesar Burger

Xinyi happily munching at her The HandBurger Original. Its beef (ribeye), in case you're wondering what the patty is.

Once again, I hearts the reflective wall tiles!! It prevents Wan Lin from dodging my camera, because wherever she turns to, I'd still get a shot of her thanks to all the reflections around. Hohohohoho!

Secondly, MAD JACK.

Organised a mini Swiss Guides gathering. It felt really nice to see everyone again after 3 years. We sat down for a hearty meal, while we reminisced our crazy days back in secondary school. Oh and, not forgetting to bitch about a shorty whose favourite hobby was to whack people and leave a smacking red mark due to our tiny blood vessels bursting, all credits attributed to her violence.

Yixin says it all with one shot. "I'M HUNGRY!!!!!"

Grilled Chicken in Black Pepper Sauce

With Yan Lam (:

WOOOOOOO! Sexy shot of Zhiying! The main focus was suppose to be the two flags on her head to feature her as an alien, but oh well... IT'S OKAY! (Shit. ZY is so gonna kill me!)

One of my darling girlfriends, Amanda aka PANDA (Because it rhymes. Yeah I know, crap reasoning..)

One. Fail.

Two. Fail.

Three. Success. Finally!!!!

It felt so odd taking pictures at a random walkway with my camera on self-timer :/ Nonetheless, a picture is worth a thousand words. And 3000 words aren't even enough to express how great the feeling was to see everyone again. Yeah.. Even though guides was tough during our days, we braved through it all and created so many memories along the way.
I miss all my pretty guide-mates. Except the violent shorty, of course. *rolls eyes*

Thirdly, Daddy's birthday feast!

For years, I've been saying that I would cook beef steak for daddy on his birthday. And I have FINALLY done it! The night before, I slept at 7AM because I stayed up researching for various peppercorn. In case you do not know, the other term for black pepper is peppercorn. Yeah I know right. Why so troublesome and create such a fancy name such as peppercorn. Before I knew peppercorn was black pepper, I was so frustrated when all my search results came up with peppercorn sauce steak recipe, rather than black pepper sauce steak recipe. I even thought google was working against me! Roar! Well, staying up till 7AM was definitely worth it. Because the food was AWESOME!!!!! I can now proudly announce to the whole wide world, I KNOW HOW TO COOK BEEF STEAK ALREADY! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Okay so lame ._.

Appetiser: Prawn Bisque with Poached Scallop

Main course: Garlic bread, Baked Potato with Mayo, Butter and Crushed Bacon, Asparagus wrapped in Bacon, Salad mixed with Traditional Dressing and Japanese Salad Sesame sauce, and lastly, Mushroom Peppercorn Beef Steak.

Mummy did prepare dessert but no one could take a second bite after we each finished our portion of the main course and appetiser. It was too filling already. My sister said we over-cooked, but oh well, it was fun and delectable!

Lastly, Denyce's and Sujean's 19th birthday celebration!

This year, we celebrated it at (points at the picture above) Bali Thai Café. Recommended and suggested by Den.

Phad Thai Noodles with Phad Tai Sauce.

Customary pose with food.

Glass noodles with Phad Tai Sauce. (All of them ordered noodles with Phad Tai sauce, except for me ._.)

I was craving for rice, so I ordered some sort of seafood fried rice, whose name I cannot seem to recall. Oopsy!

SJ has a craze over Tin-tin, soooo.. for her birthday, we really got her a TIN!

Of course we weren't that bad to just buy SJ a milo tin! In fact, we bought her a hell lot of tin-tin stuff! Ranging from plasters to playing cards.

For Den, we got her F21 gift vouchers, and for-this-lifetime vouchers. Each one handmade by each of us!

I finally have a nice shot with Den, and it is now printed and pasted on my wall (:


And finally, after working on this entry for up to 8 hours, I'm coming to an end. Gosh. It proves how easily distracted I am — by people on msn, songs and music videos, and my comfy bed... I shall end this entry with yet another quote.

Bam! I feel awesome!

In the meanwhile

I know that I should really find some time to clear the back-load of pictures that are waiting to be uploaded and a decent entry should have been written like way long ago. But I've been oh-so-lazy, so yeah. Sucks for you. HA!

Okok, I promise that I would do it soon. Like really really soon. From my past experiences, I guess it is wiser to not put a specific day/date as to when, because really.. I don't ever keep to those promises! Oops!

And so, in the meanwhile, you can entertain yourself by pondering over this pretty picture quote I made myself. Yes, I made it MYSELF. Impressive right? Yeah I know. I'm awesome. Wooooo!


picture-quote entry

Anyone up for some late night party-ing?