Kingdom of Boredom.

I am Boreddddddd.

yeah. B-O-R-E-D.


1. tired of the world; "bored with life"; "strolled through the museum with a bored air"
2. uninterested because of frequent exposure or indulgence; "his blase indifference"; "a petulant blase air"; "the bored gaze of the successful film star"

well.. i doubt i can actually say i'm bored.
since the definition of bored that i found on the online dictionary,
states that i am..
1. tired of the world?
i am far from being tired of the world!
there's still so many things that i wanna do!
like... going clubbing! :B
i'm being heavily influenced by my sister.
she keeps going clubbing.
then she brings back all these interesting tales of what goes on in there.
well, that is excluding all the alcoholic drinks.
i still dont get whats so nice about all that liquor.
doubt i'll ever understand it actually.
all of them say that its sweet.
and all i have ever tasted is bitterness. yuck!
alcohol is simply not my kind of thing.

2. uninterested because of frequent exposure or indulgence?
what am i always exposed to?
what am i always indulging in?
i dont think there's anything man.

ah.. this post is coming really late.
anyway. missed out on teachers' day celebration.
boooooo.... sucky being ill on the wrong day.
heard from the lil bro that i missed out on jiakang's beatbox performance.
sorry jiakang!
congratulations though! cherish that moment! (:

A little breather aint gonna harm, righttttt?

4 down, tons more to go!

end of the A Math paper 1.
good riddance to the social studies paper.
out with parents to some fancy chinese restaurant for a delectable meal!
man.. thats how life should be! :D
as a little break for all the mugging that i've been doing for the past few weeks,
my parents treated me to a sumptious 6-course meal. woooots!
well... sorry for only having taken the picture of the desert.
by the time i remembered,
only the desert dish was left.
anyway! the Mango Pudding looks pretty yummy isnt it?!
with all the pretty decorations and the way they presented it.
mmmm.. its as good to eat, as it is as good to look.
though whipped cream is fattening,
but i really loved eating it.
it goes pretty well with that liliputian slice of strawberry.
ah shuts. craving for the desert again.

what better than a walk after all the eating to improve digestion?
sucks though, to be told that you aint allowed in the arcade
because you're wearing the school uniform.
and there is your parents and their friend,
laughing away because you aint allowed in the arcade. *grumbles*
then it sucked even more when they all entered the casino room,
and you're left outside, walking around aimlessly..
all you can do is hear the gadgets in action, spinning and spinning...
bah.. wait till i'm 21.
i am definitely going to fill my eyes up with all the sights.
but dont worry. aint gonna spend a single penny in that room.
because its not worth it.
gambling and me? i see no link at all.

thank goodness for the internet and computers.
this includes the laggy computer and the slow internet connection,
that i was using just now at their friend's house.
or i'd certainly be bored to death.
trust me, waiting for my parents to close the insurance policy is agony.
its a wait that you wish you'd never have to go through.
but as their kid, you simply have to get over with it.
even if it means that you're gonna go through that agonizing wait more than once.
getting used to waiting is quite a thing.
because the duration that you've got to wait is never predictable.
oh well, treat is as a training for patience.
its best to always look on the bright side isnt it?

its teachers' day tmr.
shall go to school for the sake of the ACES day exercise,
and the teachers' day concert.
pity someone has to live through the lie.
shall look on the bright side though.
i get to stay home and rest for a day! wooots.
kind of beat-out from all the late-night mugging.
and oh no!
more late-night muggings to go through.
cant wait for all these sickening examinations to be over....

the dreaded day.


i dont wanna face these horrible exams yet.
i might have been getting ready for these dreaded exams since June Holiday.
but somehow,
i still cant help but worry.
damn! the stress is really getting to me this time.
*takes a deep breath*
cant wait to get over with all these crappy exams.
and whats after the crappy exams?!
the BIGGGGGG one.
which is even worst.

who ever made the decision of students having to take exams?! *grumbles*
yes yes yes.
i too, can see the advantages of having an exam.
but neither am i blind to the disadvantages!
disadvantages such as failing the exam which leads to sadness then depression and perhaps suicide?
what am i thinking?!

i think i've napped one too long just now.
slept from 3pm to bout 7pm?
a full 4 hours.
probably some of you might say that the 4 hours was wasted away,
but for moi,
its so worth it!
at least i aint that lethargic anymore.
and definitely,
those sickening factors for social studies would be able to get into my head.

somehow, someway, sometime,
i've got to get a little time out later to do the 2007 'O' Level A Math paper 1.
yeah, i've started on it already.
but i've yet to complete it. (oops! ><) well, hasnt that been the case for many of the school papers that Mr Ngoh has given? completed the paper 1 but not the paper 2. i sure am picky about the questions :P hohohohohoho. i still detest sketching graphs as usual. so practicising on sketching them is a out of the question. questions that beat around the bush is what i simply cannot tolerate. they bore me out seriously.
man.. i'm one weird kid. that is for sure!

okay. i had better sign out now.
need to get bathing and then start mugging.
probably might not have time to call my deardear later...
but i know that he wont mind, right...? :D
as understanding as ever, thats one of his qualities.
which is another reason why i simply cant help loving him.
better stop or he is gonna start nagging again....

The deepest feeling always shows itself in silence; not in silence, but restraint.

where love is concerned, emotions are the most important factor of all.

“There are beautiful people in similar situations, feeling very much the same things as we. And though we are alone, in a way we are not, and for me there's a comfort in that.”

“So when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are listening not only to the words, but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed, to the whole of it, not part of it.”

“Hold my hand as lover or as friend
& feel united for a while
See yourself in the mirror of my eyes
& tell me what it does to you
Let our heart beats meet
& feel what it does to me
Let us walk like a tandem
To get where it could be we.”


its brown. its sweet. its CHOCOLATE!

came in really handy! (:

whenever i feel really crappy.
the first thing that i wanna do is eat.
yes. bad habit i know. trying to correct it already.
anyway. had a sudden craving for chocolate.
lucky i remembered that sufyan gave me a bar of top during recess.
reached for it immediately and began eating it in SS lesson.
ah.. the taste of chocolate. plus a little caramel. mmmmm...
helped me to calm down and think logically.
almost blew my top off for no exact reason.
man.. i'm getting really moody recently.
and thats bad.
venting my anger on others? nonono. not i want. not what i desire.
i know how it feels like to get vented on.
and that feeling really sucks truly.
so, i'm not gonna let the people around me suffer such a miserable fate as well.
its unfair. and its unlogical.

-time for a little ranting.-

had enough of someone venting her anger on me.
she's moody. fine i get it.
she needs someone to vent her anger on. fine i get it.
but cmon man! its been who knows how many days already.
and she's still in that crappy mood.
getting really tired with that attitude she's giving.
when she needs you,
oh how sweet and nice she can be.
the tone that she uses can all of a sudden,
become so melodious.
however. when she doesnt need you.
hohohohoho. that tone that she uses is definitely so goddamn bitchy.
makes you just wanna slap her in the face and wake her up.
wish that she'd quit it already.
taking me for granted. who the hell does she think i am.
just because i dont say a single shit.
it does not mean i appreciate and accept that shit attitude.
if she is unplease about sth about me,
then just shoot. what for are you making life so difficult?
dont blame them for being mean to her.
dont blame them for being so harsh when criticsing her.
at times. she should pause and think about her actions. about her words.
whats the use of commenting on someone non-stop.
when she doesnt even bother to reflect about herself.
if she had just shut up and apologize.
would they have given such harsh criticisms? i doubt so.
and what did she do? she talked back.
fine. you're right. if i were her. i would have talked back as well.
i might even have helped defending her then.
but i didnt see a need to.
because she never have, never do and never will if i did.
hey. im not saying that she has got to be all gratifying and stuff.
at least give me a smile or whatever?
acknowledge that she appreciated the help given.
not give me a sulky face.
oh and one thing.
when i express concern. if she doesnt want it.
she can just smile and say that she's fine and i neednt worry.
not give me a fucking attitude.
now i get what it means when they say..
it doesnt pay to be nice to certain people,
because these people never do and never will appreciate your kind gesture.

god. dont wanna talk about her.
ruins my mood completely.
and it aint worth to ruin a day that has so far gone perfectly well.
why bother end a happy day with such a tragic ending...?

they're worth a thousand words.

the little events in my life.




when i'm with you.

"when you're not around, I'm feeling like a piece of me is missing.."

what would i ever do without it?
the world is too silent without it.
it'll be too eerily quiet.
its an amazement how a few simple sentences,
accompanied along with a melodious tune could make such a wonder.
for the past 2 days,
music has been my greatest comfort. and the best companion that i could have.
as i listened on to the songs that he send me,
i couldnt help but reminisce, him singing those songs to me.
poor him.
in exchange to get me sleeping early,
i made him sing me to sleep. hohohohoho.
yes. i'm quite a nasty devil. roar!
but what would i ever do without these precious memories?
they really do bring a wide smile to my face when i reminsce about these events.
so my overall conclusion.
its worth making him sing for me. oops!
once a devil, always a devil.

its quite an amazement how much i said that,
i would blog again later in the day.
but i never do in the end.
ah well. gonna stop here for awhile.
didnt go to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve because i fell asleep in the afternoon.
energy level is really running low.
anyway. dad is bringing me later in the day.

bleeding love.

to me, the silent ticks from the seconds-hand sounds more like a booming bang on a drum.

hide all the clocks at home.
and i'd still be able to hear those silent ticks.
time is passing so slowly.
refuse to calculate how long more that i've got to wait.
because i know that knowing the amount is seriously going to irritate me alot more.
thus, its better to feign knowledgement about it.
it'll help me to concentrate on my work too.
or else, whenever i set myself down on the study table.
i'd view at the clock to see..
what time it is that im starting my work.
what time it is that should i stop to take a break.
and how long more that i've got to wait...

oh bother.
i should probably organise something for myself to do later on.
or i think i would be staring at the clock constantly.
which is like.. so insane?
speaking of insanity.
when have i never been not insane?
ah... speaking nonsense again.
must be due to the tedious wait.
and the burning of brain cells lately.
its a wonder that no matter how much i've slept..
the energy level that i contain the next day,
is still approximately the same.
oh well. i'm making full use of the energy level provided.
because i know that once i'm tired.
i can practically do nothing. that includes replying his sms-es.
i would lie on the bed and after the next minute,
there i would be, in dreamland.

have given up hope in paracetamols.
they seem to no longer have an effect on me anymore.
even if they do,
it'd be only for a little while after taking a large dosage.
which is... not worth at all?
i'm not going to further detoriate my health,
just for those nonsensical fevers and headaches.
if they wanna hurt, if they wanna burn..
then i might just as well let them be.
they would eventually go away naturally.
which is so much better than swallowing those puny pills?
things which occur naturally are always the best.
excluding illnesses though.
those freak of nature can really be very annoying at times.
because they always happen at the wrong precise moment of times.
but like what i said.
freak of nature. no one can predict or prevent when they might happen.

the burning of those incense papers is really getting on my nerves.
makes me wanna move back to the old house right now.
where i can simply shut myself in my room,
close all windows and doors,
turn the air-conditioner on,
and be away from all these toxicating fumes.
though i live on the 8th floor,
these poisonous fumes are still weaving into the windows of the apartment.
which is really irritating.
oh well, its something that i've got to be tolerant about.

been nagging my parents constantly on getting a new home of our own.
they've been giving me the same reply all the time.
"we're working on it!"
honestly. i dont see any effort from the we're working on it.
i cant really blame them as well.
$500k for a JUMBO-apartment?
thats really expensive. totally not worthy.
might as well be patient, which is what i'm practising now.
hoping that the sellers would be abit more benevolent and generous by reducing the price.
am i asking for too much?
nah.. i doubt so.
well, with the drop in the prices of private property.
the selling price of these apartments should be affected as well isnt it?
i wonder why the effect has yet to be seen though.
anyway. my parents say that if the prices still refuses to decline.
we're might be going to get a condominium apartment!
wooots. if thats the way.
then i would be able to go swimming whenever i want!
but. on a second thought.
its still a might be thing.
and might be things that are said by my parents,
dont always come true. or should i say that they never do?
oh well. doesnt harm to have my mind wandering afar on such matters though.
imagination. its free of charge and it brings great joy at times.

speaking of imagination,
my sister has been saying that i'm going overboard on it.
let me explain why.
we've yet to buy a new house.
and here i am,
thinking on how we should decorate the interior of the house.
going a little too far, eh?
but like what i said. it never does any harm to imagine.
at least i know that when we've bought our new home.
i know how i would want my room to be done.
i've specifically told my mom on how i want my room to be like.
the walls shall be done in luscious light green,
which gives a calm and relaxing effect when i set my eyes on them.
and in bright cheery light yellow,
so as to brighten up the overall mood of my room.
well, the colours of the wall pretty much depicts my personality.
hype-up, easy to be and get along with.
i want a large, long airy window in my room.
if necessity,
i would persuade my dad to demolish part of the wall so as to get that window.
the window glasses shall be slightly tinted blue with white window frames.
my bed and study table shall be place at the green side of the room.
i shall get my dad to dig out that hammock we bought in Thailand.
and i'll have it hung up in my room at the yellow side.
on the humid afternoons,
i shall lie on it and rock myself to sleep.
ah... what brilliant imaginations.
shant call them fantasies since,
we do not work to make those dreams be realised.
whereas, i will be working to make these dreams come true.

time to get started on my work.
feels great to blog as times passes really quickly when i'm not realising it.
and i only do not realise that time is passing when i'm blogging.
perhaps i shall blog again later,
so as to distract myself.
yeah, i shall do it.
will squeeze time for another blog entry into my schedule for today.
just asked my dad out for a trip to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve at 3pm.
he said that he'll reconfirm with me later.
shall persuade him to go. and not see first.
been dragging this trip for a really long time already.
cant wait to get lost amidst the thick rainforest.
in addition,
it'll definitely help me to revise my chapter on Natural Vegetation for Geography as well.
killing two birds with one stone.
what can actually be better than that?

perhaps there's just one thing that can actually be better than that. his return....

melt the snow.

with the falling of the leaves of deciduous trees, it marks the end of summer and the arrival of another season..

time flies.
its August already.
8 months has passed already.
and what have i really done?
that i wonder......

man. i screwed up today's O Level EL Oral Examination.
all of it went perfectly well till the dreadful global question for conversation came.
and to think. the question was on globalisation.
it was on my favourite subj. geog.
yet. i screwed it all up. crap.
my mind went completely blank when i heard the question.
yes, i knew i had to response using my knowledge acquired from the Geog lessons.
however. i failed to do so.
i took a completely different approach from the rest of the class.
most mentioned all the things that we learned in Geog.
what with all the global warming and stuff.
all except me.
saw Mdm Zainab outside the HOD staff-room as i placed my work in the lockers.
went to her and grumbled a little.
got a little encouragement and comfort from her.
proceeded onwards to my journey home.

as i took the bus ride home.
i couldnt help but wonder. how bad can today turn out to be?
dear is heading off to Malaysia for 3 days for a family gathering.
i'm going to be missing him dearly.
though he promised to be keeping in contact with me still.
but the little girl in me couldnt help but whine a little.
its hard to be separated with the one you love.
even if he's going to continue contacting me in Malaysia.
bah.. i'm just being immature here.
and to think.
i just told him i was not going to be a total lousy girlfriend by whining.
oh well. at least it proves one fact.
his existence is important to me.

i just found out about something.
my sister knows the truth.
i doubt i could actually hide it from her anyway.
since she knows almost everything about me.
she advises me to stop dictating entries on him.
just in case eyes that are not meant to view this blog, does.
an accidental clicking of the wrong website might lead to unwanted circumstances.
thus, the neccessity to delete a few entries here.
je suis désolé...
for having to do such a thing.
for being so understanding as always.

have avoided going into AuditionSEA for 3months.
yet, i broke that record today.
was feeling rather melancholic due to all the crappy events.
am left without someone to talk to it about.
therefore, i resorted to thrashing out all the negative feelings in the online game.
felt much better when i logged out. though i only played 2 games?
Audition is really getting more and more boring lately.
maybe its because i'm sick of that game already.
however, i'm going to have to pick it up soon.
what with Qing starting to play it as well.
in addition, with her playing, its almost like all the cuz are playing Audition now?
doubt i can actually out-talk the rest from permitting my excuse.
well, at least thats going to happen after my O Levels.
for now. i'm going to set my priorities right.

its the Seventh Month.
also known as the Month of the Hungry Ghost.
parents are once again, out helping out at 会所
with the annual ritual proceedings.
they refused to let me tag along as its going to end really late.
it isnt as if i've not been to these events before.
i do know how late it ends, but so?
i wont be the only kid there anyway. the rest are there to keep me company.
i dont get why kaixiang, don and the rest get to go.
but i just dont.
they've got the Os and Ns as well.
and they're all there except for me. (grumbles.)
besides. i really want to see 师父 again.
been a really really long time since i last saw him.
it feels pretty great to be acknowledged for how much i've grown up over the years.
the last time i saw him, i was the same height as him!
and to think. the first time i saw him, i only reached his waist!
memories... i'm reminiscing them. the good ones and the bad ones.
really wish that i can be there now.
show those guys how much i've changed over the years.
am no longer that weakling who permits bullying.
will and shall stand up on my own two feet should they do it again.
however, on a second thought.
i doubt they're still that childish either.
after so many years, they should have matured and grown up.
hope they're ridicule thinking have changed.
i remember them on the path of growing up into fine young gentlemen the last time i saw them.
while for me, i was on the path of growing up into a young lady.
ah.. time really flies.

have typed quite enough.
passing my time as dear isnt around.
thus, i've got nowhere else to place my attention on.
shall end here.
will probably blogged again later on if im feeling bored again.
if not, it'll be tmr.
since he's not around.
there's nothing i can do except to study.
shall mug non-stop this weekend.
though i wonder how effective it can be,
since i'd probably be distracted with the thoughts of him.
i guess this is where self-control enters.
shall do my best in controlling these feelings....

a faithful little girl waiting for your return.....

following the flow...

as the day goes, i'm wandering around blindly.

before i start typing away on my second entry of the day.
i would first like to say about something.


seldom do i ever talk about my life in school.
or should i say, my day in school.
it seems to be a rather ordinary topic to me.
with everyone talking about the same topic of school, school and more school.
thus, the seldom mention of school life for me,
as i think it would bore out you and me.
and neither do i plan to talk about that topic right now..

life.. is just that ordinarily plain at times.
its going on as though you could predict
whatever thats gonna happen at the next moment.
some might think that a plain life is boring.
whereas, a hectic life is fun and interesting?
hmm.. true in some sense.
however, i would like to beg to differ.
as at times,
a hectic life takes away all the quiet alone moments that you need in life.
the time to really pause, take a deep breathe, and relax.
those are the moments when you can really get
your brain to start whirring in progress,
as you start thinking about the events that have taken place.
from there, you learn what you've done wrong, and what you've done right.
the way that somethings can be once again, done.
and the things that must never be done, ever again.
yeah.. that's life.
i'll just end here for today.
completely screwed up already since i've yet to complete my work.
in addition. i've yet to revise for my A Math Paper 2 Mock Test.
AHHHHHHH! -screwed-


brown phones are a complete horror!

this is the phone that i found for gen.
a brilliant NOKIA N78 *WOOTS!*
equipped with all the functions that she'll need.
(its a phone just right for a cam whore in which music is her life!)
and gosh!
dont ever ask me to find for a brown phone EVER AGAIN.
took me ages.
scanned through all the sony ericssons' phones.
most of the ones that were brown were out-dated.
and all the latest phones were not brown. *grumbles*
is black really that fascinating?!
most of the phones were in the colour black.
seldom do you even find a phone in brown! which is IN.
so i had to resort to looking for a NOKIA phone.
and to my greatest delight.
i saw this phone once i entered the website.

ah well. glad she likes it.
though the price is one thing..
sorry girl.
but its worth it to burn our pockets once in a while for something we fancy alot.
dont ya agree? *SMILES!*

mission given: search for a BROWN phone for Gen.
rated: ****



i dare not say.
i dare not tell.
that i'm filled with regrets now.
why the hell did i do that?!
why in the world did i place my feifei (eeyore) in the carton along with the rest of my plushies?!
in exchange for that PIG?! fuck. what was i thinking man.
its immature to be whining over such a thing.
but, when i was out with dear yesterday at plaza sing.
when i saw that eeyore at more than words through the window.
i couldnt help but remember my feifei.
the countless nights i spend with it.
the countless times i cried into it during those nights.
the countless comfort it gave me as i hugged it to sleep.
my peace. my comfort. my eeyore.

an hour ago.
i grumbled to my sister about my ache for my eeyore.
and she went.
"who ask you to? BASKET."
yeah. she is so correct for once man.
who ask me to. damn.

i could actually go get the eeyore back.
only if.
that cartoon of plushies wasnt stack right at the back and on the top of the mountain of cartons.
in a seriously bad mood now.
cant seem to cheer up. i wanna poke that fat eeyore in the tummy now.
boohooooo! what in the world was i thinking!
feeling childish for whining over a non-living thing.
however. i couldnt help but whine.
because i've developed feelings for my eeyore!

its useless crying over spilled milk.
whats done has been done and cant be undone.
i've just got to live with it.
meanwhile. i'll just sought as much comfort as i can from my white tiger.
yeah. i've yet to throw it away.
i'm so sorry.
i know. i promised to throw it away.
but i really couldnt get myself to do that.
its hard to part with something that you're emotionally attached with.
please forgive me for this...

Happy National Day!

Happy 43rd Birthday Singapore!

in collaboration of Singapore's Birthday..
i've decided to change all my blog songs to our national day songs!
managed to sought out the national day songs of the past years.
including some rather well-known ones.
i have no idea why. but im rather in the singapore mood this year.
kept singing and humming along to the tunes.
well.. i've irritated quite a no. of people already.
with all the singings and hummings.
oh well! apologies to all. if i've irritated any of you in any way.
its after all, SINGAPORE'S BIRTHDAY! (woots!)

do not ask me why.
but im super hype up now.
im starting to wonder if it really is because of national day.
which i highly doubt is the reason why.
the highest probability of it being so due to my boyfriend..
well yeah. i think thats the reason why.
ha! madness all the way today!
shall divert all that madness to the celebratory mood for singapore.
hmm.. i think i'll just divert a part of it.
more of wanting to keep a big portion it for myself (:
yes, im being greedy here.
and i've got no idea what i'm typing as well.
so once again, forgive me if you do not understand.
as neither do i understand what im typing!
insanity. thats what im charged up with right now.


futile efforts.

although i should be thankful that my mom still permits me to use the computer,
despite the fact that its pass my comp. curfew.
i am still (sadly) UNPLEASE.
what?! dont give me that stare. i do know when to show my gratitude.
its just that.. at this timing (00.02)..
okay. perhaps i've exaggerated that point a little.
let me rephrase it this way.
my usual chat-mates aint online to talk nonsense with me.
oh well.
what more can i expect since i'm not given the choice of comp. first or homework first.
being a secondary 4 student who is about to take her O Levels this year.
and whos prelims are arriving in less than a month..
i dont really have a choice do i?
my priority: studies first.
however.. i doubt a little exception for someone is allowed though.. *SMILES*
man.. its a really bad idea to mention him.
always bound to make the rest of the post all about him.
sadly though. i SHANT this time. (MWAHAHAHAHAHA!)
self-control has gained victory over pining for this round!!
i'm getting pretty good at this self-control thing.
learning how to take proper charge of certain events of my life.
make the correct decisions. preventing my life from going astray once again.
memories. good and bad.
everyone LOVES the good memories yeah?
well.. and everyone HATES the bad memories isnt it?
how much we wish that we could actually forget these sucky memories. (BLEAH!)
YET. memories are memories.
they stick with us for life. so just GET ON WITH LIFE.
why let these fucking memories bother you constantly?
you are the one who has full control over your life.
you are the one who decides how to lead your life.
you are the one choosing which path to take in your life.
so dont ruin it by saying...
i shall let nature take its own course.
ever heard of the quotation..
the destiny of one lies in one's own hands?
the reason why humans have dominated animals is because we..
are highly intellectuals who have made proper use of our intelligence.
so.. yeah. back to the main point.
(crap. my sister is on the phone now. and has just casually mention the name of her friend who coincidentally shares the same name as my boyfriend.)
is she trying to torture me or what?!
*grumbles*already suffering like mad over here..*grumbles*
-pulls back into reality-
its 00.21 already. and once again,
very depressingly. my mind has gone blank.
i swore that it was actually bursting to the brim with topics to talk about.
but.. lets just put things this way.
my sister has disrupted my chain of thoughts by accident.