desolated.

futile efforts.

greattttt.
although i should be thankful that my mom still permits me to use the computer,
despite the fact that its pass my comp. curfew.
i am still (sadly) UNPLEASE.
what?! dont give me that stare. i do know when to show my gratitude.
its just that.. at this timing (00.02)..
THERE IS NO LIVING SOUL ONLINE IN MSN ANYMORE.
okay. perhaps i've exaggerated that point a little.
let me rephrase it this way.
my usual chat-mates aint online to talk nonsense with me.
boohooo!!!
oh well.
what more can i expect since i'm not given the choice of comp. first or homework first.
being a secondary 4 student who is about to take her O Levels this year.
and whos prelims are arriving in less than a month..
i dont really have a choice do i?
my priority: studies first.
however.. i doubt a little exception for someone is allowed though.. *SMILES*
man.. its a really bad idea to mention him.
always bound to make the rest of the post all about him.
sadly though. i SHANT this time. (MWAHAHAHAHAHA!)
self-control has gained victory over pining for this round!!
i'm getting pretty good at this self-control thing.
learning how to take proper charge of certain events of my life.
make the correct decisions. preventing my life from going astray once again.
memories. good and bad.
everyone LOVES the good memories yeah?
well.. and everyone HATES the bad memories isnt it?
how much we wish that we could actually forget these sucky memories. (BLEAH!)
YET. memories are memories.
they stick with us for life. so just GET ON WITH LIFE.
why let these fucking memories bother you constantly?
you are the one who has full control over your life.
you are the one who decides how to lead your life.
you are the one choosing which path to take in your life.
so dont ruin it by saying...
i shall let nature take its own course.
bullshit!
ever heard of the quotation..
the destiny of one lies in one's own hands?
the reason why humans have dominated animals is because we..
are highly intellectuals who have made proper use of our intelligence.
so.. yeah. back to the main point.
DECIDE YOUR OWN FUTURE.
(crap. my sister is on the phone now. and has just casually mention the name of her friend who coincidentally shares the same name as my boyfriend.)
is she trying to torture me or what?!
*grumbles*already suffering like mad over here..*grumbles*
-pulls back into reality-
its 00.21 already. and once again,
very depressingly. my mind has gone blank.
i swore that it was actually bursting to the brim with topics to talk about.
but.. lets just put things this way.
my sister has disrupted my chain of thoughts by accident.
*grumbles!*