bleeding love.

to me, the silent ticks from the seconds-hand sounds more like a booming bang on a drum.

hide all the clocks at home.
and i'd still be able to hear those silent ticks.
time is passing so slowly.
refuse to calculate how long more that i've got to wait.
because i know that knowing the amount is seriously going to irritate me alot more.
thus, its better to feign knowledgement about it.
it'll help me to concentrate on my work too.
or else, whenever i set myself down on the study table.
i'd view at the clock to see..
what time it is that im starting my work.
what time it is that should i stop to take a break.
and how long more that i've got to wait...

oh bother.
i should probably organise something for myself to do later on.
or i think i would be staring at the clock constantly.
which is like.. so insane?
speaking of insanity.
when have i never been not insane?
ah... speaking nonsense again.
must be due to the tedious wait.
and the burning of brain cells lately.
its a wonder that no matter how much i've slept..
the energy level that i contain the next day,
is still approximately the same.
oh well. i'm making full use of the energy level provided.
because i know that once i'm tired.
i can practically do nothing. that includes replying his sms-es.
i would lie on the bed and after the next minute,
there i would be, in dreamland.

have given up hope in paracetamols.
they seem to no longer have an effect on me anymore.
even if they do,
it'd be only for a little while after taking a large dosage.
which is... not worth at all?
i'm not going to further detoriate my health,
just for those nonsensical fevers and headaches.
if they wanna hurt, if they wanna burn..
then i might just as well let them be.
they would eventually go away naturally.
which is so much better than swallowing those puny pills?
things which occur naturally are always the best.
excluding illnesses though.
those freak of nature can really be very annoying at times.
because they always happen at the wrong precise moment of times.
but like what i said.
freak of nature. no one can predict or prevent when they might happen.

the burning of those incense papers is really getting on my nerves.
makes me wanna move back to the old house right now.
where i can simply shut myself in my room,
close all windows and doors,
turn the air-conditioner on,
and be away from all these toxicating fumes.
though i live on the 8th floor,
these poisonous fumes are still weaving into the windows of the apartment.
which is really irritating.
oh well, its something that i've got to be tolerant about.

been nagging my parents constantly on getting a new home of our own.
they've been giving me the same reply all the time.
"we're working on it!"
honestly. i dont see any effort from the we're working on it.
i cant really blame them as well.
$500k for a JUMBO-apartment?
thats really expensive. totally not worthy.
might as well be patient, which is what i'm practising now.
hoping that the sellers would be abit more benevolent and generous by reducing the price.
am i asking for too much?
nah.. i doubt so.
well, with the drop in the prices of private property.
the selling price of these apartments should be affected as well isnt it?
i wonder why the effect has yet to be seen though.
anyway. my parents say that if the prices still refuses to decline.
we're might be going to get a condominium apartment!
wooots. if thats the way.
then i would be able to go swimming whenever i want!
but. on a second thought.
its still a might be thing.
and might be things that are said by my parents,
dont always come true. or should i say that they never do?
oh well. doesnt harm to have my mind wandering afar on such matters though.
imagination. its free of charge and it brings great joy at times.

speaking of imagination,
my sister has been saying that i'm going overboard on it.
let me explain why.
we've yet to buy a new house.
and here i am,
thinking on how we should decorate the interior of the house.
going a little too far, eh?
but like what i said. it never does any harm to imagine.
at least i know that when we've bought our new home.
i know how i would want my room to be done.
i've specifically told my mom on how i want my room to be like.
the walls shall be done in luscious light green,
which gives a calm and relaxing effect when i set my eyes on them.
and in bright cheery light yellow,
so as to brighten up the overall mood of my room.
well, the colours of the wall pretty much depicts my personality.
hype-up, easy to be and get along with.
i want a large, long airy window in my room.
if necessity,
i would persuade my dad to demolish part of the wall so as to get that window.
the window glasses shall be slightly tinted blue with white window frames.
my bed and study table shall be place at the green side of the room.
i shall get my dad to dig out that hammock we bought in Thailand.
and i'll have it hung up in my room at the yellow side.
on the humid afternoons,
i shall lie on it and rock myself to sleep.
ah... what brilliant imaginations.
shant call them fantasies since,
we do not work to make those dreams be realised.
whereas, i will be working to make these dreams come true.

time to get started on my work.
feels great to blog as times passes really quickly when i'm not realising it.
and i only do not realise that time is passing when i'm blogging.
perhaps i shall blog again later,
so as to distract myself.
yeah, i shall do it.
will squeeze time for another blog entry into my schedule for today.
just asked my dad out for a trip to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve at 3pm.
he said that he'll reconfirm with me later.
shall persuade him to go. and not see first.
been dragging this trip for a really long time already.
cant wait to get lost amidst the thick rainforest.
in addition,
it'll definitely help me to revise my chapter on Natural Vegetation for Geography as well.
killing two birds with one stone.
what can actually be better than that?

perhaps there's just one thing that can actually be better than that. his return....

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