Sweet lil things

There are moments in our life when we feel down, and we just wanna do something to cheer ourselves up again. That, is where chocolate comes into the picture!

This is my current love. I'm so addicted to it! I doubt the word 'awesome' is even enough to state how incredible it is!


I wonder why no one ever told me this snack existed.

I brought a pack of 'Toppo' to school to share with my clique and I got them addicted to it too. Oops!


Look at the chocolate filling inside! It is a total to-die-for.

I never really did like chocolate in the past because I often found it too heaty and too sweet for my taste buds. Someone taught me how to eat chocolate, and got me to love chocolate. However, I'm still picky when it comes to eating chocolate. It has got to be top-notch chocolate or in the garbage bin it goes! I refuse to allow the tip of my tongue to touch under-grade chocolate; it's a disgrace to my tongue.

The best chocolate ever? Margaret Rivers. ♥

***

Xianyao texted me, out of the blue, that he baked some cupcakes and he kept a few for me. So sweet of him. (:
However, I almost killed him when I saw the cupcakes. Because he lied.

"Is there icing on them? I'm terrified of icing."
"Nope!"
- Met up with him and saw the cupcakes -
"There is icing on them! You lied to me!"
"What cupcakes have got no icing on them?! Of course they've got icing!"
"But you said there isn't any icing! You lied!"
"They are cupcakes!!"
(Groans!)

Icing contains only sugar and calories. There is nothing good about them. I don't like icing. Icing is fattening.
Xianyao, you lied!!!







I must admit that the cupcakes are not only pretty, they taste good too. Mummy saw the cupcakes and the first question she asked was, "Are they edible?" I couldn't help laughing. Too many times, we've been deceived by their image, hence a scar is etched in our memory. However, these cupcakes are unlike the others. And most importantly, I haven't gone running for the toilet yet!

I've got a busy weekend coming up. Even my schedule for next weekend is filling up fast. I need to stop shopping, but I want to continue shopping. Oh the irony!

I have yet to get myself a cute floormat for my room. Gift-image no longer sells the cute floormats I set my eyes on months ago. :( Mini-toons have got no floormats either. I guess I just have to wait till they are in stock again.

Need to sleep. Now.
Xoxo.

Inception + Pastamania

There is nothing better than a night out with my darling girlfriends (:
I haven't been uploading much pictures lately. But tonight, feast your eyes on the pictures of 3 gorgeous ladies.

You're waiting for a train; a train that will take you far away. You know where you hope this train will take you, but you can't be sure. But it doesn't matter - because we'll be together.

So.. This is how things were: Sin Hui invited me to catch 'Inception' with them at Lot 1. I, the infamous tardy queen, was late as per usual.. Well, very late in fact. I missed the first 30 minutes of the show. So, I was kind of confused throughout the later parts of the movie which I managed to catch. I still enjoyed the movie though! However, I must agree with my sister that this movie is mind-boggling.

Me and Jia Her were arguing with Sin Hui about the conclusion of the movie, on whether the last scene in the movie was a dream or reality because the top seemed as though it was about to fall but it was still spinning!! Me and Jia Her took the stand that Leonardo DiCaprio was dreaming, Sin Hui said that its reality because the top was about to fall and it was swaying from side to side (The top has yet to fall my dear, it was still spinning! It was just swaying only!). Oh well, I guess this is how movies are. They leave with you questioning the movie as you exit the theatre.

Before I bombard you with the stretch of photos, I must first apologise for the poor quality of the pictures. I couldn't forgot to bring my awesome Canon camera out with me that day, so I had to suffice with the pathetic 2.0 megapixel built-in camera on my red phone. I'm feeling really guilty already. I'M SORRY! :(

Okay, here comes the cam-whoring.

































BAM! Another awesome entry well-done.

There are more photos of course, but since they have all been uploaded on fb already, I don't see a point in re-uploading them here. I only uploaded the more significant and memorable pictures here. Hehe. I'm sorry, I can't help being lazy.

I've got a chemistry test tomorrow, which I have to prepare for. And my tutorials are still un-done, that includes the 4 geog essay outlines needed during my geog lecture tomorrow! Kuddos to me. I don't think I'll be sleeping any time too soon tonight.

Goodnight peepos. Xoxo.

< 100 days

I was ransacking through the 2 ginormous cartons which were filled with toys when I found Tofu! I have no idea why I nick-ed it Tofu years ago, maybe it was because of its square-ness? Anyway, I'm glad I've got this green square tofu-look-alike plushie back in my arms again! *Gives it a big hug*
However, he seems to be able to run on his two tiny legs because he is always disappearing from my bed and somehow I end up finding him on my sister's bed... The person who bought me this toy is stealing my toy. Ironical much.

I feel like a mugger this weekend. Tuition on friday, saturday, sunday.
Chem is good but I will no sooner drive him crazy with my never-ending questions. Maths is brilliant although I feel bad for snickering at him because he kept saying the word 'basically'. I did try and contain the laughter! I bit my lips to stop myself from laughing!! Econs is horrible. I seriously couldn't understand a single thing he was saying.
So there is only one thing to do: Sack him. I guess I need to find a new econs tutor!

Xinyi's birthday is on Tuesday. I've already gone shopping with the clique for her birthday presents - yellow dress, white tube, matching necklace, cute underwear; pretty much a whole entire outfit except the shoes. I'm still gonna make her a little something though. I'm pleased to say that I am done with the hardest part of the project! Got 1 night left to finish up the rest of the work, and then I shall present it to her on Tuesday! I do hope she likes it. I put in a lot of effort and time into it okay!!

This reminds me, I still owe one of my girlfriends lunch.

Sin Hui, if you read this, text me and lets schedule a date! I haven't seen you in a long time. I miss you!

Everyone around me are getting pets! Lexy has an adorable bunny called Matthew. Shaoning has a kitten which claws her and doesn't use its litter. I want a pet too! However, taking into some facts into consideration like my mom going berserk, my ears not being spared from her high-pitch screaming and my dad threatening to barbecue the pet; I think the pet will be better off not having me as its owner.

Tomorrow will be the start of long hours in school, mugging into the wee hours of the night, less sleep + nap time, less TV and internet hours, and definitely less shopping hours :(
I can't wait for A Levels to be over.

Tear bank

"I really wish that I can collect all your tears and then we'll see how much tears you have been shedding. The amount of tears you've shed is enough to set up a tear bank."

A rather long time ago, a friend of mine, was there for me when I needed a friend. He was always there when I cried. He was always the first to be there. And, he never failed to cheer me up with his lame jokes. Like really, the last thing you would ever tell someone when he/she is crying is that you wanna collect all their tears and set up a tear bank. That got me cracking. And so, my sobbing turned into chuckles.

It only takes a split second to appreciate what you have. During this bad break-up I had, so many people were there for me. My family, my friends. Also, through this event, I've gotten a clearer view of things, of people whom I can actually trust and will be there for me when I need them. There is a clear divide between those who mean their words and those plastic people. For the people who honoured their words, thank you. I'm glad to call you 'my friend'. However, it is still too early to be definite about the divide, because once in awhile, when pretentious side of people slip, you see their true colours and I can say that it isn't nice at all. I learned the hard way that people change, and change is inevitable.

Wild & Free

I'm feeling wild and free. No more nitty gritty issues tying me down. I've tied up most of the loose ends, but here and there, I've left a few untied because they don't matter to me anymore, they no longer affect me. I can feel that something amazing is about to happen, and this time, I wanna feel it thoroughly. The thing is, what is that amazing thing? Is it just me being over my head? Maybe... Either way, good things are always worth the wait.

And so, I'll wait.

P.S. I've been taught to value all my friendships, and to let nothing affect them. I hope I can have this one friendship..

11:11

I've stopped wishing for you during 11:11.
I've stopped searching for stars in the night sky.
I've stopped wishing upon every eyelash I find.

I realise that there is no more you and me.

Everytime I enter the link to her website, I can feel a sudden pause in my heart-beat, because I'm scared. I know I shouldn't be there, but I just can't help it. Going to her website is like taking a step into the future, the unknown scares me. Today, when I went there, there was a surprise waiting for me. Who she was directing it to, I'm not sure, but I benefitted from it.

Not all parents are supportive, not all friends are friends, and not all patients have doctors. But the best medicine is hope, and hope comes from within.
I can't deny that I have second thoughts when it comes to hope. Hope has never failed me, but I failed myself by hoping for the wrong thing. It is true that hope gives us the strength to continue looking forward to life, but hoping for the wrong thing will simply kill you instead. All along, I've been hoping for the wrong thing and so, I've been killing myself.

To see light, all it takes is one simple action - close your eyelids and all you can see is darkness, open your eyelids and you'll see the light. I suppose I've kept my eyes shut tight for quite a period of time after I got hurt, I got afraid to see the light again. I wouldn't deny that I'm still afraid of the light, and so I'm keeping one eye open and one eye closed, just like how I'm open to all the possibilites in life and how I still fear the unknown.

"You can give up on love, but love will never give up on you." - Xavier
It is natural to shy away from a certain thing after it has brought pain to you, it isn't wrong to doubt it. You can pronounce to the whole world that you've given up hope on love, but deep inside you, you know that you still harbour that little bit of hope for love. No one can find love, only love can find its way to you. (I wonder what matchmakers are for then?) Perhaps that is why people who are constantly looking for love can never find love. However, there is a contrary to the statement, who in life doesn't look for love? Hmmm. I need a little more time to think about this question. I suppose people who least expect love to be coming their way would then get love? Ok, I have no idea what I'm talking about anymore. I'm confused by my own words. But I do understand one thing, like the saying goes, "When love comes your way, nothing can stop it."

---

The deadline for the JYOF photo submission is a mere 5 days away and I have yet to send in my photo! Furthermore, I had more than 15 days to send the photo!! I am feeling really guilty, I need to step up in my efficiency level. =/

Wherever I go now, I see posters and banners about YOG. Almost all the buildings in Singapore are decorated with the 2 mascots. I can't put a word to my feelings about YOG since half of me is excited, whereas the other half of me dreads it. What if I screw up? What if blur me does something really stupid and make a fool of myself? I don't wanna be a laughing stock! As each day passes, and the day draws nearer, the number of butterflies in my stomach increases. This mixed feeling is driving me crazy!

Hmm, I've got to make one thing clear. I still hate her, just not that much anymore. But yeah, I hate her.

Okay, going to shower nao and then continue with my work.

Xoxo.

Life is like a vacuum cleaner. It sucks.

Besides accepting your decision and walking away from you, what more could I have done?

There are 5 levels of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.

I wonder which level I am on now, because it doesn't seem to be going according to that order for me. I heeded his advice and numb-ed myself, build high walls and a ditch filled with crocodiles around my heart and turned my heart to stone, so as to protect myself from hurting. But then, I can still feel my stone-heart hurting from deep inside. You know, it isn't about protecting my heart from the outside world, and even if it is, how much more pain can I actually feel when I'm already immersed in a tub full of pain? I'm already hurt, deeply hurt by you. Your wreckless actions and indecisive decisions have brought me pain, and there is no painkillers available for this pain.

Every step you took, every move you made, I winced because it hurt. I wish that there was this button in life when you can press it and then you would have amnesia and forget all the things that bitches/bastards have ever done to you. The frustration in me, I don't know how to let it out. Screeching at you wouldn't help to lessen it any bit at all because feelings are infinite, you can't define them and so you certainly can't put a number to it.

I wished too that you were the Prince of Persia and have the capability to turn back the sands of time. Sadly, you're not. Taking a knife and sticking it through your heart wouldn't make me feel better, but if you were to take a knife and stick it through my heart, I know I would definitely feel better. When I say 'You gave up on me', don't rebut me back with stuff like 'I didn't give you up whenever I wanted to, I stayed with you for as long as I could'. There is no point beating around the bush, you still gave up on me in the end, fullstop.

Thanks for feeding me with so much pain, here is a gift from me to you. I'm gonna feed you with enough guilt and regret to last you for eternity. Afterall, you did do me a huge favor by screwing up my life again and making it even worst than it was previously. Thanks for reminding me what pain is, thanks for destroying all my dreams and the roots of all dreams, thanks for ruining me completely. There is nothing you can ever do to lessen the remorse you feel, because there are no choices left in the first place. The first wrong step you made had already send me spiralling down the tunnel to hell.

There is no point asking why because there is no why. Well, if you even bothered to think about the why in the first place, then I doubt you would have even committed the crime. It all boils down to one thing, you and your fickleminded-ness. Because of them, I am reduced to the terrible state I am in now. All you ever do is think for yourself. Two words, selfish and immature.

You always told me to think twice before doing anything. I guess you missed out on that part yourself. And because of that mistake, you turned me into another Annabelle. Or perhaps, the state that I am in is far worst than hers, which is why my name is Sophie.

Like it wasn't enough for me the first time round, you just had to give me a second round. Well, congratulations to you.
I am giving up on my life.

An advice to a friend (:

It is time to face the fact and let her go.

I know it's hard, but this is life. We can't change people because that is their life, they can be whoever they want to be. Yes, I take a stand with you that she shouldn't be who she is now. I can totally understand why you hate the people who changed her into who she is now. I know you wish that she is still the sweet girl you met and once knew. But hey, people change along with the course of time and we can't stop them from changing because change is a natural occurrence in this world.

Move on because even though you think and feel that she is perfect and she is the best, somewhere out there in this big world, the best is still waiting for you. Don't be stupid and insist on having second best when you can have the best. Having someone too perfect isn't necessarily good because only with imperfection comes perfection. Don't waste your time on someone who doesn't appreciate you for being able to see pass her imperfection and love her for who she truly is. Put that vast amount of love to better use, somewhere else, on someone else. I believe you'll be happier that way. Why make yourself stay in this limbo when you are actually one step away from free-ing yourself from it and leading a life filled with happiness and love? Honestly, she is not worth it. You're missing out on so many better things. Including that hot chick beside you right now! Don't make another mistake in your life. Because if you do, you can seriously go die for wasting that level of IQ.

Be that smart guy you are. There are many fishes in the water. No point going on and on for the goldfish that keeps swimming away from you. Go for the rainbow fish that is swimming around you. She'll be worth it, I'm sure. You can't expect a lady to make the first move, can you? Besides, you know better than to make her wait. Don't let yourself regret a second time, if you do, give me your IQ, I can definitely put it to better use!

I've said almost everything which should be said. The rest, I'll leave it to our lunch date. I've traded in a sufficient amount of my sleeping time to type all these out for you!! Aren't you touched? You should be!

I'm always there for you, friend. *hugs*

Ok, so goodnight/good morning.

-Yawns-

Said I will move on. I am moving on.

'Brother-in-law' is here in Singapore for a couple of days. I've been sleeping at unearthly timings for the past couple of days. I'm waking up super early tomorrow morning to join my sister and BIL for breakfast at MacDonalds although I know my chances of actually really joining them for breakfast is zilch. I know I'm gonna choose sleeping over breakfast at MacDonalds. Eyebags, calories and weight are on the line. I'd rather sleep.

Shopping with Joey on monday, am ready for a big haul and a big hole in my wallet. Now, talking with Xian Yao on msn about a girl's nose bridge, male bimbo, einstein, wigs and nobel prize presentation day. How wonderful!

Life is interesting ordinary. I'm getting by. Finished watching Drop Dead Diva season 1, and all available episodes for season 2. Ghost Whisperer is not gonna have a season 6 so boohooo to me and I'm lazy to catch up with all past episodes. Maybe I'll do that after my A Levels when I'm super duper bored! Pokemon Sinnoh League Victors is getting pretty boring because I was much too lazy to wait for the English dubbed version to come out so I went to watch the Japanese dubbed even though I didn't understand a bit at all. And so I'm now stuck in a dilemma between waiting for the English dubbed which is understandable yet I've already 'watched' it before, or the Japanese dubbed which I haven't watched but I don't understand it either! Yeah go on and laugh at me for watching pokemon still, I'm embracing the kid in me okay! Right, I think I'm babbling.

Summary: Each day is passable, for now. Nothing to spice up my everyday. But perhaps the right spices just haven't been imported yet, and so I'll wait. Gosh, I'm making it sound like I'm cooking a meal. Well, that is after the spices manage to knock down the high walls which I've once again erected, get pass the crocodiles in the ditch, find his way around the booby traps in my castle and reach the highest tower where my precious heart lies waiting. Classic fairytale. However, I think I've learnt my lesson and know better that fairytales belong only in storybooks. In reality? Fat hope.

Xoxo.

Time for a little relaxation.

The annoying mid-year exams are over. I know, I screwed them up. Badly. And soon, I will be facing my disastrous results, followed by a series of remedials, consultations and tuition. I wasn't expecting math to be so disastrous as well, because I had never thought that a mind-blank would occur to me for this subject. But it happened, and whats done can't be undone.

For now, while I still can, I'll make good use of the next 4 days, to relax and have fun, before facing the most arduous stretch every JC student must face. The final 200m lap to the finishing line, aka A Levels. But of course, before the treacherous exams, we've got our prelims first. I'm tired of screwing up my exams, scraping just-nice passes for every one of my exams from J1 till now.

If today was the first day of a new year, and I had to make a new year resolution list, at the top of my list would be 'Stop getting passes/fails for your tests! Distinction is the only way!'. Ok, I'll be more realistic, make it top few. My wardrobe is kind of, you know, bare and empty, and so are more drawers, they're screaming out to me, "Fill me with accessories!". Not forgetting my small stack of shoes in the shoe cabinet, I believe there is plenty more of space for more gorgeous shoes! I'm not that crazy over perfume yet to start a perfume collection, unlike my sister; Ralph Lauren is still my one and only favourite.

Today, movie with my JC girls. Next monday, shopping spree with Joey. So exciting!!

It is fagging 5.40AM now. I must be nuts to stay up till so late. Must change this bad habit of mine! I better go to bed now or else I'll never wake up in time to watch movie with the girls.

Xoxo.