The importance of being wealthy

Don't get me wrong.

I'm not a narcissistic, money-minded, materialistic bitch. I just hate being.. concerned over financial issues. I hate feeling as though my wallet has shrunk, my pocket is tight, my bank account is of non-existence.. I dislike being unable to spend freely.

In this current society, money is power. Although there are various ways to go about arguing the statement that "money brings happiness", in the most direct way possible.. yes that statement is awfully realistic and truthful. Well, at least it does... to a huge extent.

Without money, I won't be able to shop. If I'm unable to shop, I would be unhappy. Like now, for instance.

At times like this, I really wish that I am Christian Grey and I earn $100,000 per hour, 24/7. All the shoes that I can buy. SO HEAVENLY.

I went window-shopping with a girlfriend yesterday, walked into Bershka and tried on the prettiest pair of black mary-janes that I have ever landed my eyes upon. Slipped my feet into the gorgeous pair of shoes and okay.. I admit: I felt as though my ankle might just crumble and get crushed from having to bear my weight at that joint which is not physiologically designed to withstand pressure, but oh goodness... it was so darn mesmerising!!! I even whipped out my phone, took a picture and sent it to my boyfriend, who expectedly rejected that pair of shoes immediately because it was about 4-inches high. Anyway, I couldn't buy it.. the price was $129.90. My boyfriend heaved a huge sigh of relief and cheered enthusiastically *roll my eyes here*

I really miss my gap year. Earning $1.3k a month, and sometimes even more. Spending freely, shopping freely, relaxing and just breathing normally, unlike now when every breath is short, sharp and hurried.

I've never felt more screwed up about my life. I don't know what I am doing right now and it seems as though I am making do with whatever that is shoved upon me by my parents, rather than exploring my options and my interests, doing what seems to flow along with me instead of repelling me at every hook and cranny.

This feels wrong. It really does. However, I don't know how to get out of it and even if I can... this society that I live in, it's a rat race everywhere.

This is not what I want, so what should I do now?

Answers.. it's time for me to seek for some answers..

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