Alone

Thanks for walking away when I needed you the most. Thanks for turning your back on me, even though I reached out my hand, crying for your help. Thanks for throwing me back into the blackhole.. Why pull me out in the first place when you were gonna throw me back in again?

Seeing drops of blood oozing out of the wound, you feel pain. But as you search around in yourself, for the source of the pain, you realise that the pain isn't coming from the cut.. Instead, you find an unfathomable stabbing pain coming from your heart.. And you can't help asking yourself.. Why..?

It happened by choice, not by chance.

No one falls in love by choice, it is by chance;
No one stays in love by chance, it is by work;
No one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice.

Read it boy. And get it INTO your head. It didn't just happen like that, you let it happened without blinking an eye. Well done to you.

No, I don't hate you. Instead, I'm awfully disappointed in you because you were the last person I expected to do something like this. So you can go ahead and strike-out loyal, faithful and devoted because you are neither of the 3.

I don't regret loving you nor spoiling you. I doubt I ever will. The only regret I have is not being able to fulfil the promise to cook one meal for you after moving to my new place. I guess, this promise will forever remain as an empty one.

Thank you for all the pleasant and unpleasant memories you've given me over the close to 2 years time span. It has been a wonderful time. But I guess its time for me to move on with my life and walk away from you. Of course, we are still friends, I'll wave hi to you when I see you on the streets and like you, my phone is an arm's length away if you need a ear, a hand or a shoulder.

And so, I'll take our memories with me and proceed on my journey to look for the 'right tree' in my life.
Goodbye.

Kill Yourself.

Today is the start of project 'kill yourself'. Its gonna be bloody, its gonna be painful. I can feel the poison seeping in already. I was hoping that I never have to go through this process a second time in my life, but I guess I was wrong...

And so, here it goes again. Project 'kill yourself' - season 2.

JYOF

Honestly, I never did expect myself to hit the jackpot. There is a whole rush of emotions running through me now. Excited, worried, joy, nervous and.. shock. I guess I'll take things one step at a time. Just another part of my life? Like what they wrote, a memorable experience. I'll live the experience to the fullest and enjoy myself as much as I can (:

Back to mugging for the exams. Xoxo.

Tough stain.

Why are you like a tough stain? So hard to remove, so hard to get rid of. I'm already trying my best to ignore your existence, yet you are so persistent. Just scram, will you?

I don't know how to describe the emotions that I'm feeling now. Frustrated. Annoyed. Angry. Upset. Desperate. Helpless... Do you have any idea how peaceful my life was. How happy it was. Until you turned up.. And I've been trying again and again to get my life back in order, to just lead a really simple life. I'm not asking for alot. I just want things simple, easy, happy...

I really wish there was some sort of detergent - I don't care who manufactured it, be it cip, magicclean, dynamo or some cheap china brand, I want the strongest chemical available to spray on you, and just rub you away, get you out of my life once and for all. I want so badly to erase all traces of you permanently.

Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out.

Get the hell outta my life.

Wish Upon A Star

I don't remember when the tears stopped flowing. Don't remember when my heart turned cold. I just want to get out of this room, this emptiness... my memories... I need to shift my attention away. But to what?

I wish I never have to wake up from my slumber. I wish I can continue sleeping on and on, and never have to wake up. I want to continue sleeping so I can continue dreaming, because in my dreams, I see you.
Can someone please turn my dream into reality...?

Every dusk, I sit by my window, looking up into the sky, trying to catch my first star.. But for the past few nights, no stars have appeared in the sky. What happened to all the stars..? Where did they go..?
'Star light, star bright, the first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight.'
Someone grant me my wish, please...

Tell me who to hate, who to blame, who to scream at? I'm tired of crying.. I sick of feeling so weak. Do you know what I'm going through? I loved you so deeply, and out of nowhere, a girl pops out and ruins everything. I saw with my own two eyes how our supposedly happy future 'popped' like a bubble.. Do you know how many silent tears I've shed...? Do you know about all the bitterness I have in me..? What else can I possibly do, but grit my teeth and continue living through each day? And every night before I sleep... My tears flow down my cheeks... I'll cross my fingers, close my eyes, and I'll wish hard, I'll pray hard, for a miracle..

Crying makes me tired. I'm tired now.

Forbidden Love

I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary. Sometimes, you make me feel so invisible... I look in the mirror just to make sure that I'm there. And whenever our eyes meet, I wonder if you feel the same frisson of yearning as I do.

You are what I never knew I always wanted.

Pause.

I feel bad. I've got a friend who's been needing someone to talk to. He has been trying to arrange a timing with me but somehow, I always end up post-poning the meeting to another day. It has happened for weeks already. Perhaps, a certain day next week, I will pull out some time for him. It's time to hit the 'pause' button in my life, to not be so wrapped up about my own life and to help others around me. I will not be a selfish human-being.

To a certain someone:
I don't hate you. I'm just disappointed in you. I don't know how to face you now. I don't know how to talk to you now. I don't know what to say to you now. I'm starting to wonder if I made a wrong decision in being friends with you again. I'm getting really tired and irritated. You know it yourself too, its not the first time you've said those words, its not the first time you said things in a moment of folly. 3 years back, the same thing happened. Not once, not twice. It happened on a routine of every 3 days for 2 months straight. During those 2 months, I forgave you time and again, I tolerated you again and again. Till I could take no more of that nonsense. And without a second word, I walked out of your life and never looked back. After 3 years, I thought that you might have changed for the better, so I decided to give you a second chance, to be friends with you again. But now, even as friends, you're doing the same thing all over again. Am I that insignificant to you? Why are you always taking me for granted? I honestly have no idea what to do with you anymore, neither do I have that strength to deal with it now. Perhaps, you're right, the words you said in that moment of folly is right. Perhaps, it was my mistake, it was wrong of me.
I need some time alone to clear my thoughts.

Don't know what to write anymore. The thoughts I have right now, are much too private. I guess I have to pay my private blog another visit.

Xoxo.

Bittersweet surreality

When everything falls apart, she's lost in a moment. Bewildered and broken, her heart aches. She yearns for his smile, his care, his love but he's not there. Has it all turned into surreality in the blink of an eye? Wretched inside, she tries to hide. This emotional turmoil - painful. So maybe, it's time to forget him. But the thing is.. he is unforgettable.

It's 12midnight now. So it makes the 11th of June, yesterday. But my day today has yet to end. It's been a really tiring day today, been busy moving stuff from my grandmother's place to my new place. I've officially moved into Woodlands. Too tired to write describe the whole process. There's only one word that fits the description best. 'Exhausting'

Initially, I thought that I had mastered the technique of ignoring our connection. Because for everytime it worked, I would push it to the back of my mind by either sleeping or distracting myself. I thought that I had gotten so well at ignoring it that the pain is pretty much bearable. True, a nagging feeling will still remain to remind me that the connection is still working, but for the past few times, I managed to work my way around that pain. But somehow.. I was proven wrong. Today, I failed.

The pain. It was excruciating. I was at its mercy. I could really feel it eating me up. I tried to ignore it, I tried to distract myself, but nothing worked. In fact, it merely got worst. I couldn't do a thing at all. The pain.. It was just so bad so bad. All I could do was sit on a chair and rest, waiting for the pain to subside a little. I must have been quite a sight. Sitting on a chair, clutching my chest tightly, gasping for air. I had never expected our connection to still be so strong, I thought that it had subsided along with the passing of time. Today's blow, it was hard, it was fast, it was straight-to-the-heart, it was a killer.

I need to get stronger. I need to toughen up. Since it has happened once, it will happen twice. The next time round, I will be prepared. I will win the battle against our connection. I have to. Because, I love you forever. But forever is over.

Don't tell me to take things easy when you're one of those making it hard for me.

Annoyed? Very much. Pissed? Definitely. Sad? Unfortunately, yes.

I'm NOT allowed to spout any vulgarities because its unbecoming of a girl. *rolls eyes* So, I am gonna express my current emotions with other words found in the dictionary.

I changed my blog song, again. What you all might not know is that each chosen blog song depicts my current mood, my current thoughts. I've been dying to get this song as my blog song since a long long time ago, but I didn't because my whole mood and thoughts just didn't fit the song entirely. And I'm proud to announce that at this very moment, it fits!

Ok, I must admit that one of the attributing factors is the roaring anger in me, at the moment. Its kind of my way of defiance and protest. In a rather silent manner? What a contradiction.

Whenever I listen to this song, there is this one part of the lyrics which I find ironical. But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts. She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers. Hmmmm. I wear short skirts. And I was a cheer captain before. (Yeah go on, laugh your head off. I was once a cheer captain, so funny right? Haha. Morons.)
Not allowed to talk about... AHEM. So I'm keeping mum on that part of my thoughts. I've received complaints that the things I write on this public blog is much too private to be written here. *rolls eyes*

What ever happened to blog rules 101? My blog, my world. I write whatever I want and you aren't suppose to interfere/comment as a reader. You either read and shut up or get the hell out of my blog because I don't need your measley readership. Sorry, I'm just really pissed. *folds arms and gives a killer look*

Very tempted to write something offensive to piss another person off but a promise is a promise. And I am a person who keeps to her promises. So I'm doing my best to extract my 'Little Miss Nicey' side out of me. But I'm still feeling very much annoyed. Don't like people messing around with my blog entries. Kind of explains why comments aren't allowed and I don't have a tagboard? Because I don't want any limitations to my thoughts and whatsoever. Some people just don't get it, do they? Whatever~
*shoves a hand into the person's face* Talk to my hand, talk to my hand.

Don't you go off complaining again unless you're feeling guilty about something! Everyone can be my witness, I haven't written any names or specify a gender, so none of you know who I'm talking about right! Even if you do, shut up and pretend you don't. I'm in denial.

I'm not allowed to say the other side of my thoughts so I guess there is nothing more for me to rant here. Good day to all of you.

Xoxo.

I need this free space.

When I first created this blog, my sole intention was a space in this world where I can speak my mind and express my emotions freely and at the same time keep a record of these thoughts and emotions of mine. Because they are afterall a part of me.

Whenever someone try to change the way I blog, I would always react in a defensive manner because hey, isn't that the same as putting a leash to my mind, controlling my thoughts? I'm sorry that my entries are filled with vulgarities at times. If the entry is directed to you, and is filled with vulgarities, then it is point-blank simple and obvious that I want you to know that I am unhappy. I am not pleased with you. I've chosen to write it out on my blog then to tell you outfront because the words I use when telling you outfront might be even nastier and sometimes unintentional, the words can be said in a moment of folly. Furthermore, typing it out instead gives me a chance to re-affirm what I want to tell you, and to re-organize my thoughts. It is pointless blabbering. Those are thoughts which have gone through meticulous thinking and consideration. Words which are really too crude to be read are removed, so the 'offensive' words left written in the entry are actually the ones which are more read-able.

Like what all other celebrity bloggers have said, you don't like the things I write, then don't read them. We don't need your readership. And I most definitely do not because I do not earn a living through blogging, it is just a passion to me. Each blog defines each blogger in his or her own unique way because we express our thoughts through our chosen words. If you were to limit the words we can choose to use from a dictionary, then what is the entire point of a blog? You might as well go to the library and pick a fictional storybook with a plot you like and it has a happy ending. A blog is the mind of the author, the life of the author, it is the author's world. We've chosen the path of blogging because we want a space to voice out our thoughts, to let out our emotions. Don't limit us, don't fence us in. If you think that what I write is offensive, don't visit my webpages. Spare me the agony of dealing with your emotions and spare yourself from the hurt. Enter my webpages at your own risk - you're not reading any ordinary blog, you're reading my blog.

I don't think I have to splash the words 'ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK' at the homepage of my webpages, because that is seriously stupid. It is a basic common sense kind of thing. And I honestly do not wish to have to list rules on my webpages, please use the brains which you were blessed with at birth. If you are unable to handle my blog entries or my tweets, then don't read them, PLEASE. I'm seriously begging you. I don't want to have deal with any of these nonsense again. I don't like people controlling the way I blog or the way I tweet. This message goes out to everyone.

On a personal note, I hope you know that you're the one I'm talking to from here on. On his account, I've reviewed my past tweets and deleted the ones which might have supposedly upsetted you. I won't do that again. I've only done it this time because I'm doing him a favor, because he is a friend I cherish alot. The silly boy likes you and I don't want to be the one turning things sour between the both of you and be the one robbing him of his happily ever after. But I won't do it a second time. So my advice to you is to stay away from my webpages unless you can take them. If you know that you can't, please do not visit my webpages. I've got enough of my own problems on hand and I don't want to add any more problems onto my mountain pile. So please, I'm imploring you to stay away. I will say this for the last time. I'm tired of having to say this once every few months. I can't stop you from visiting my webpages, if you do, then it is at your own risk. I know that you check on my webpages because you want to make sure that I'm fine and stuff, thank you for your care and concern but this is my life, and clearly both our lives do not mix. Like fire and ice. There is a clear boundary dividing both our lives. Stay in your world, and I'll stay in mine. Also, I am blocking you out of my mind, doing whatever it takes to ignore everything which might possibly remind me of you. Yes, you can even say that I'm attempting to erase all signs of your appearance in my life. Every night I'm still making the same wish, that you never appeared in my life, that you never existed in this world. If you really must know how I'm doing now, ask him, he'll tell you although you and I know that he will only give you one answer and that is "Yes, she is fine." Ok, how about this. If you really want to know how I'm doing, text me, you have my number, I will reply to your text messages cordially. You have my word. And this entry is your proof. I'm not one to break the promises which I've made, you can go ask him. But please, stay away from my webpages ok? Don't make me repeat my words again. That is all.

My appetite has been badly screwed because of this - I skipped dinner. I've only had lunch today and I only ate half of a normal serving. I can hear HJ nagging in my ears already. Sorry man, but like what you know about me, I'm an extremely emotional creature and such stuff have an adverse effect on me. I was packing my files halfway when I dropped them and came to blog because I felt that I had to before my thoughts and emotions vanish into thin air. I didn't want to have to muster them up again once they are gone. So here is another heart-felt entry. Emotions and thoughts straight from my heart.

P.S. I did not use any form of vulgarities in this entry ok. And I tried my best to choose words which might make my message to her less hurtful. So don't you come asking me and wanting me to review my entries again. I'm not editing my entries ever again - not even for your sake. Period.

P.S.S. I have yet to upload pictures of the new house!!! *groans* Got a hell lot of re-sizing to do. I'm not really looking forward to that. When I'm in a much much better mood then I'll get down to working on it.

I'm happy for you.

I'm too tired to do an elaborate blog entry. I just talked on the phone for one and a half hour and did a rather long entry on my private blog. I just had the sudden want to upload this quote on my public blog.

"You'll always be my thunder. So bring on the rain."

Ok, I think that is all. I'm off to shower and start revising. Bye.

I'm so tired. Exhausted, actually.

You said you wouldn't rush me. You said that I could take my time. What is this now? You're not the only human on earth, not the only person in my life. I thought that among everyone else, you would at the very least be more understanding than all the others, and not add anymore pressure to me. I'm not expecting you to help relieve me of my problems, just.. don't add to it at least. Why did you have to go on and mention things which you know I won't like to hear, things which I'm trying my hardest to ignore, things which I don't wanna know, things which I'm trying my best to forget. I just wanna smile. Don't do things which would wipe my smile off my face.

I have so many masks to put on in my everyday life - one for each person I know in my life. I have to live up to so many different expectations, tend to so many different demands. It's tiring you know. I don't blame you if you say something wrong once in awhile, but don't go saying it deliberately. I'm sorry that I'm so temperamental now, I'm just going through alot of things. I really need you to be understanding. It's not like I expect you to be there for me, I don't need it. I'm sorry that you have to put up with these nasty moodswings of mine. I'm really sorry... I'm just really tired from everything.

I'm sorry that I care for him, he is sick and I made him a promise that I will be there for him always. I don't wanna break a promise, and I don't think you want me to either. Please understand my situation. I don't know whats going on either, I wish I do. I'm very confused. Everything has been really confusing. I bit off more than what I can chew, and I'm trying really hard to digest every bite that I've taken. I don't know what I've done to my life and whats gonna become of it. I'm just trying to live my life to the fullest, live it to the best.

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I need a break. I wanna run away from everything. I wanna breathe. Give me some air.  I'm so tired. I wanna smile. I don't wanna cry anymore, I don't wanna break down anymore. Take love away from me, why is it so sweet yet so bitter and sour at the same time? I want back my innocent childhood days... Actually, how innocent can my childhood days be when they are filled with love too - I had a sweet crush for a boy. Why is being a mortal so complex? On a second thought, the life of a mortal is actually very simple and short, love is the only thing which made everything so complicated, tiring and miserable. Yet then again, love is the thing which makes being a mortal such a wonderful thing. Someone once told me, Love is irrational. Love is unexplainable. Love is everything.. That I agree..

The last time I felt like this, he came into my life, swept me off my feet and took me to far far away land on his white horse. Well, that was before he turned and walked away, taking his heart with him, leaving me stranded on that deserted island. Sounds kind of silly and stupid to say this but even though I've been so badly hurt before, I'm still hoping that someone can do that again.

This kind of reminds me of the time I got attacked at a void deck. I remember being so scared, crying my eyeballs out, shivering non-stop with fear. I called him. And within 15 minutes, he was standing right infront of me, the only thing separating the two of us was a road. Once the 'green man' came on, I dashed across the road, right into his arms and another wave of tears came flooding my cheeks again. It had taken me 15 minutes to calm myself down and to stop crying but seeing him, being in his safe and warm embrace, it was all it took to summon back my tears. I remember him stepping out of the car, that scene, it was oh-so-prince-charming-to-the-rescue, that suave-ness, unforgettable. (I'm sorry la!!! But it really gave me that kind of feeling what! Stop eating vinegar! Bad for your kidney!! Yes, I'm referring to you!) And here is a tinge of irony, I think it was coincidental, but a gust of wind blew at his hair at that very instant when he climbed out of the car and walked towards me, and the wind ruffled his hair the way like how they do it in the movies (eg. Shrek - Prince Charming and his stupid hair/head swing motion) and then you get that 'Ohmygod! This guy is so cool, so handsome, so amazing!' feeling. Ya right, you people can go ahead and laugh your head off. Humph. You people are just jealous that you never got to experience this kinda feeling in reality and you've got to try and understand through some stupid movie through the shoes of some fictional character in the show, through some make-up scene. That feeling is just so.. 'WOW!'
Ok, I'll shut up now, I'm just giving you freaks a reason to laugh at me. Harrumphh.

Shall stop here tonight. I still wanna blog at my private blog. I think this entry was done pretty well since I started writing it with a heavy heart but here I am ending it with a light-hearted feeling.

Just like the writing on this Nohohon Zoku. A big hug with lots of love! ♥

Goodnight peeps! Xoxo.

Silent whispers: I miss you... Terribly..

I'm feeling terrible now. I don't wanna talk. But my phone just won't stop vibrating. I need a break from my social life. Fucking leave me alone ok? It's pretty obvious that when I don't reply you, it means that I don't wanna talk to you now. In fact, I don't wanna talk to anyone now. I just want some time alone. Some peace. Some quiet. So just fucking leave me alone will you. Stop stalking me on facebook. This is MY LIFE. Am I required to report to you, to explain to you, every fucking thing I do? Who are you to me? You are nothing, you are no one. Now fucking leave me alone. If you are really that bored, go fuck your sister or you mom. Stop pestering me.

I'm not in a good mood now.

Off to my private blog. Bye.

Robbed of my beauty sleep.

That Chuan Su Jean, woke me up from my beauty sleep just to upload pictures on Facebook. I was suppose to only upload 3 pictures but I ended up uploading everything so I could quickly go back to sleep even any disturbance again. In the end, I couldn't get back to sleep after I've uploaded everything. Oh bother!

Initially, I only had the intention to upload these 3 pictures!




But I kind of ended up uploading a hell lot more. You wanna see them? Go facebook. The pictures are all under CJ girlfriends (:. Don't ask me to upload here, I'm far too lazy to re-size all the pictures. Especially since I've uploaded them on facebook anymore, no point doing the same job twice yeah?

Gosh, my hair looks so fugly can! So messy :( I guess that's what happens after PE. The most horrendous lesson in a JC timetable. Furthermore, its twice a week, an hour per session. Seriously, just kill me. PE and me, no affinity at all. I'm starting to wonder why I used to love PE back in my primary school days, and my ambition was to be a PE teacher. Maybe its because PE was all just fun and games back then, playing ball games, catching, freeze-and-melt, those were the glorifying days. Unlike now, when we are forced to attain a fagging SILVER for NAPHA, fail your 2.4km by 5 seconds and you got to re-do the whole entire shit again (Yes, I failed my 2.4km, laugh all you want sucker!). And just because I failed my 2.4km, I'm being placed into some shit specialisation program in which I got to run 2.4km twice a week, and after each run, I need to run/jog/walk another 6 more rounds?! FML.
Overall conclusion: PE sucks.

More photos would be coming soon because tomorrow is Wan Lin's Birthday! I've yet to make her birthday card though. I'm gonna require large amounts of determination and perseverance because I am so not in the mood to make a birthday card now. The internet seems so much more interesting at the moment. Well, actually, it seems interesting all the time.

Gonna blog at private blog. Today is day 97. 3 more days and it'll be a 100 days already. When was the last time you read it..? Have you read my recent entries? Did you read my thoughts? Did you comprehend those unspeakable words of mine? I guess I'll never get the answer to these questions because I can't get the answer to the most basic question of all. Did you read our private blog? Honestly, I don't think you did...

Ok, I'm gonna end it here today. Xoxo.

Sick. High Fever.

Picture says it all. I'm sick. Like very sick. I think I look even worst than the girl in the picture!

There is this crazy virus going round the whole family. It first started with my dad, then my grandmother, then I'm next, then my mother and now my sister. I think that in this whole family, the only person who wouldn't catch this crazy bug is my grandfather. He is so fit!! He eata more than the required portion of vegetables everyday and the fruits.. it's like ohmygoodness amount. He eats so much papaya, like 2 slices everyday? No wonder he has such nice legs. Yeah, I'm so jealous of my grandfather's legs, they are like the dream legs that every girl wants. Every girl would kill to have them. Well, I could have them too I guess, but the thing is, I just don't have that affinity with papayas. *rolls eyes*

Random picture of half of my paternal family:

I'm forced to go school tomorrow because I have to go with the girls to finish buying Wan's birthday present. I have no idea how many more presents they are gonna get. Furthermore, the venue of where we are going to celebrate her birthday has yet to be finalized! East Coast is out due to the oil spill, Universal Studios is a no-no too because it is too costly for 2 girls in my clique. Then where to next?! I'm killing so many of my brain cells just by thinking of an appropriate venue. And its not like I haven't lost enough brain cells from the high fever which I'm going through right now. Double hip-hip-hooray for me, I'm becoming stupid.

Ha, I just woke my sister up just by blowing my nose. Sorry sister, but you are stuck with me for about another week or so. We are moving into our new house soon, and I know you'll miss my presence in your room greatly once we have moved. You'll miss sharing a room with me, I just know it. Appreciate the annoying presence of your sister while you still can! It is almost like a once-in-a-lifetime kinda thing! Although we've shared a room plenty of times, like I slept in the same room as you when I was 6 (Chased out of my parents' room, they forbade me to sleep in their room anymore saying I was a big girl already) to about 12 (I didn't want to share a same room with her anymore because I thought I was big enough to have a room of my own)?

The new house looks great. Well, it should since the house went through a total revamp, major construction works took place. Once the final touches are completed, and the furnitures have gotten in, I'll take some pictures and show you peeps the before and after appearance of the house. Its like garbage dump to a place you can REALLY call home. I have yet to decide on the curtains in my room, roller-blinds or curtains? And with the amount of clothes I own now, I think my closet is gonna be a little.. squeezed.

I shall see if I can get my hands on a new bag tomorrow, but my choices are pretty limited thanks to my shrunken wallet. My beloved white INK bag is beyond usage anymore and the white ESPRIT bag I'm currently using is driving me insane, it keeps tossing my things around in the bag, giving me great discomfort when carrying the bag. I saw this mad gorgeous white RIPCURL bag but its price just made me turn and walk away immediately. I think I'm highly capable of finding something affordable and price-worthy. But time is one matter which has to be taken into consideration. I'm in a desperate need of a proper bag and when a girl gets desperate, who actually cares so much about money huh. Well, actually the price still matters a whole bunch to me because when I see something even more gorgeous and it is being sold at a cheaper price, I would wish for a dagger to appear right infront of me so that I can stab my own heart.

Ok, enough for now. Bedtime for me. Xoxo.