I'm not shouting, I'm just naturally LOUD.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Take a step back & you'll see the light.

its the end of my 3rd week in CJ.
life hasnt been easy.
since certain people have decided to make life tough for me.
i shant deny this fact,
in my 2 weeks with my new class,
i've shed tears twice.
i'm not being a crybaby, i'm just being human.
this shows that i've got feelings, i'm living.
is such a treatment to me necessary? i'm afraid that i dont have the answer for you.
for the people who knew, who comforted me,
the usual thing that they said was: ignore these people. pretend that they dont exist.
i doubt i'm able to do that because they are living. they do exist.
& they've got their names sprawled all over a chapter of my life.
i cant possibly be some kind of an ignorant brat,
and feign their existence.
i'll just have to find a way to co-exist with them,
because they are definitely not going to vanish into thin air or whatsoever.
these people are not being immmature,
they're just being themselves.
i must admit that if i were them, i might be this nasty to myself too.
since to them, i'm a stranger.
they're not use to my personality, my character. i do not blame them a single bit.
just like what qunlin said, they'll accept me one day (:

i was really bias a few days ago.
just because of a few people,
i judged that everyone in the class had a character like theirs.
but i was wrong. they proved me wrong.
returned to school on friday after my one-day MC,
and some of my classmates did show genuine concern towards my health.
that was something which i had not expected at all.
their care and concern.. it give me a little faith and hope in the class.
things werent as bad as i thought after all (:

a little bit more of faith and hope,
it lit up a tiny flame in my heart. warming it up again.
i might afterall look forward to my life in CJ.
plenty of thanks to Zac & Marcus,
for hearing my woes when i needed someone to complain to badly.
they've been looking out for me alot,
well, not much of a surprise when mischievious me is always seeking out for trouble.
then again, im not really seeking for trouble,
i'm just a trouble-magnet. :X
of course, i've got one more person to thank.
the most important person in my life :D
Kenny dear (:
honestly, i've still got no idea how he manages to put up with all my weird and ever-changing moods.
and did i mention, my never-ending demands for his attention? :P
this has got to be the umpteenth time that im saying sorry and thank you.
doubt its going to be the last one though.
more to come in the future, thats for sure!
shant ask you to look foward to it honey, since i'm betting that you definitely wont.

i shall end here now.
though that bubble of words in me has yet to be deflated completely.
but my brain has just been emptied.
& i cant find anything more to say.