Thinking twice

And so I stop and wonder, 'Am I viewing things from a too-serious perspective? What is the definition of too-serious? Should I take a step back, loosen up a little and take things with a lighter mindset?'

I asked for Roderick, the universe answered to my request. I have yet to regret any of the steps that I've taken and I do wish to have none of that either in the future. Is there such a thing called 'try-and error' when it comes to relationship? I don't think so, for when a bad scenario is tried and tested, you hardly ever forget the bad outcome. You can't just put a cross in the check-box and then move onto try a situation which seems more plausible. Or can we?

How are boy-girl relationships suppose to be like? What is its purpose? What are its functions? I think I might be suffocating him.. And possibly even me. I guess this is a subject which I will have to bring it up to him tomorrow. Relationships are suppose to be fun, and the level of fun should be on par with the level of seriousness. I might have taken things a little too far lately. This is really something which I have to deal with lately.

He whines that I haven't surprised him in a long while. I wouldn't deny that, I know it too. Somehow I get the feeling that his primary love language is "Receiving Gifts" because all arrows are pointing towards that direction. Chapter 6 — Receiving Gifts.. We'll find out soon enough what language it is that he speaks.

Now, planning time. What surprise should I have for him? It is not an excuse for me to say that I haven't any time nor energy to plan surprises for him because the deadlines for my assignments are coming and so I'm beat-out —drained of mental and physical energy, and therefore I need not fill his love tank. Excuses, excuses, excuses. There is no place in my world for the existence of excuses. And so back to the subject: what surprise? It's 5AM now, my menstruation is rebelling and thus I'm unable to sleep and am awake at this ungodly hour. I can go visit my grandma early this morning, then take a train down to his place and surprise him! I shall get him some snacks which he can munch later during work — I'm considering Japanese snacks since they are so much tastier and he is so picky when it comes to food, download his favourite shows and put them in his thumb drive which I'll pass it to him later? That's an idea! Okay so there are 3 surprises in place: ME! (the biggest and best surprise), the snacks (shows I'm caring) and lastly the shows (shows I'm awesome!!!)

Okay today will be a productive day for me. I will bring my socio notes out too and my tutorial too? Ponder about the questions when I have the time and maybe scribble down the answers when I have the time. K!!! Awesome!!! Idea!!!!

Approximate bedtime tonight: 10.30PM. I have a feeling that I'm gonna need that early rest :/

Post-note: Read a Yahoo! article on how women rate themselves last on their priorities list when they should actually be giving themselves a little more 'me' time. Thus I've decided, that I am going to suck in my longings and do something productive today. I've got to set my sights further and work for what's best in the long run than in the short run. There has got to be some other way to let him know that I love him, something which doesn't require me to sacrifice myself nor him. I'm not saying that I am one who is unwilling to make sacrifices, just that in this instance, I think there is a better option out there waiting for me to go find it.

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