whinings.

i'm getting all whiny again.

i simply cant help getting all whiny now.
here i am, holding an orange ice-cream pop in my mouth,
while typing away on my mom's laptop.
she is so going to kill me if i drip any of the concentrated un-naturally sweet orange juice onto her laptop.
and for the fact, that i'm supposed to be mugging away right now..
yes. indeed, i am so screwed.

but i really cant help it.
i am so not use to being without his company while i'm studying.
its like.. there i am studying away..
although i've kept my handphone away in my bag in my room..
so as to prevent me from being distracted by it to sms him..
although i've my earphones blasting music away into my ears from my mp3..
at least i know this..
hey! once i've gotten all my work done. i'd be able to either chat with him on msn or to sms him or be able to talk to him on the phone.
thats like.. a big reward waiting for me after i've completed all my work.
its like some kind of motivation to get me to work hard so that i know
i deserve that reward that i'm about to get.
but the problem today is..
I'M NOT GOING TO GET MY REWARD. (boohoo!)
he is sick because of me. (told you not to wait up till 2am for me! told you to sleep first!)
and im guilt-ridden now.
all i can do now is to make sure that he has gone to bed early today
so that he gets sufficient amount of rest, and that he'll be well tmr.
well.. i'm suppose to be happy that he is already in bed sleeping.
which is a good news.
considering for the fact that he is as obstinate as me.(bad point for being my twin!)
but.. somehow.. somewhere in a teeny weeny little corner in me..
i'm hoping that he would wake up right now and call me.
yes i know! mean girl! but hey!
i cant help it alright.
sucks knowing that you're going to have to pass the night alone.
well.. define alone you might say.
lets see....
my aunt has gone over to sleep with her children tonight. (she sleeps in the same room with me and my sister.)
my sister is working night shift tonight.
so in other words..
that means that I HAVE THE WHOLE ROOM TO MYSELF TONIGHT.
3 beds to myself. WOW!! YEAH!!
i'm supposed to be all happy, jumping up and down, grinning from ear to ear.
however, im not gonna tonight.
because i was hoping that i might be able to chat late with him on the phone tonight.
but since he's sick. my plans has just gone all down the drain.*gurgle gurgle (double boohoo!)
i barely even managed to talk on the phone with him today..

sigh.. im seriously a BIG whiner aint i?
i've really got to kick this whining of mine. even i cant really stand it myself.
but oh well.. i guess a girl is entitled to whine once in awhile.
especially when she's feeling super depressed.
and that she's got NO ONE to talk to. (triple boohoo!)
bah.. what am i typing?
even i've got no idea what i'm typing.
all i know is.. i cant concentrate on my work now..
and all i wanna do is just type and blog.
the best method to de-stress for me, and to get my mind off all the whinings.
sigh.. he's sick and i've got to suffer along with him as well.
weals and woes. i guess thats what it means.

now mister.. you should jolly well know right now to sleep early in future,
and not get yourself sick. because your girlfriend is suffering along with you as well.
you can bet that she aint please at all tonight because you're not here when she needs you,
though she fully understands why you cant be there for her, and she forgives you a 101%.
but still, that is no excuse to get sick despite all her constant naggings for you to sleep early.
yes yes. you nag me as much as i do to sleep early. maybe even more than i do.. (oops!)
but you're the one who always gets ill whenever you sleep late.
practice what you preach.
your #1 lecture phrase.
well.. now im shooting it back at you since you aint practising what you preach.
be a role model to me and sleep early.
and perhaps i'll do the same ONE DAY. (i aint stating when.. so dont you use this against me!)
great.. i've got 2 more hours to go before i sleep. (the sleeping time you gave me was 12SHARP! it's only 10pm now. and i refuse to sleep a minute early. every single waking minute that i've got is precious. can learn one extra theory, one extra formula, one extra law or memorise one extra point.)
and im so despaired already.
i might consider to sleep early tonight since there's no one to talk to.
and i rather waste my time away in bed snoring,
then to sit in the study room like a walking zombie and be unable to get a single fact in my head despite reading the same paragraph for 30mins.
okay. shant waste a single minute any longer.
shall be a good girl and sleep an hour earlier then the sleeping time imposed upon me. (i want my reward!)
time to continue mugging since i'm fully refreshed after blogging again.
sometimes, i really wonder what i'll do if i didnt find the joy in blogging any sooner than now.