Mirrors.

You aint looking at the mirrors, the mirrors are looking at you...





ohmygod.
mirrors. this movie. is. completely. horrifying!
okay. maybe for someone
who doesnt have a heart big enough to contain all these horrors,
its freaking scary!
thank god. its M18.
was planning to watch this movie with deardear at first.
changed our mind after that, cos its M18.
we obviously, wont be able to even enter the cinema theatre.
but i was really really really wanting to watch this movie.
so i did a little search and caught the movie online.
and hell....
its scary, but i'm not regretting watching it.
to think,
the first thought that came into my mind after i read the movie plot was..
COOL........!
he commented that i was insane. (aint i always?)
told me watch the trailer and re-consider.
i watched, and it made me wanna watch it even more.
pity, like i said before, that its M18.
oh well..
im done and over with this movie... i think.
most probably gonna get haunted by it tonight. (oof! >< )

mid-autumn photos.

when there is a full moon.. wooooooo... cries the werewolf! (i'm just joking!)

cupcakes of sweetness.

i got you.

its been quite some time since i last blogged on a song.
found it rather meaningless since the lyrics is up in my blog,
under the music column.
whats the point of repeating the lyrics twice?
but. for today.
i shall make an exception.
its once in a blue moon that you come across a song,
that really captures your soul, expresses your inner-thoughts,
and all you wanna do is to simply listen to the song again and again,
feeling the rhythmic beats of the song,
sing along with the lyrics of the song.
this unspeakable adrenaline charges through yourself as you listen to the song.
a wave of relief washes over you.
all the stress that was pressurizing you before is gone completely.
okay. maybe i've gone a little too far into the song.
but oh well. this is what its like when you're addicted to a song.

hmm.. as usual, a dedication is to be given.
this time, its to my deardear.
(forgive me for the emphasis)
yes, i know i've said this a million times.
i've thanked him for god knows how many times.
however, i dont find the countless times of gratitude sufficient yet.
again, i shall repeat my words. (please pardon me for it.)
for those who do not wish to read them again,
you're permitted to skip this paragraph.

i've known you for a long time,
i've waited for you for a really really long time.
you assisted me in getting over my past.
you didnt shun me away after knowing all the terrible stuff that i've done.
as my tears fell in the night as the nightmares haunted me once again,
you stood by me. wiped them for me. caressed me in your arms.
i guess, there's only you who'd be able to calm me down.
the debt that i owe you,
there's no way that i'd be able to repay them this lifetime,
the next lifetime, the next next lifetime and forever on.
well, if it takes forever to repay it. i'm most willing to take forever then.
in that way,
you'd be stuck to me forever. (hehehehehe.)
a girl is entitled to be selfish once in a lifetime,
and thats when matters of love is concerned!
there isnt much that i can say,
since whatever that im trying to express,
is all written in the lyrics of the song.
every single word, every single line, every single verse..
its what i wanna say to you.
there's one part of the lyrics that i agree to completely.
and i wish that you'd comply with it as well.
that is..
when you're all by yourself, call me.
when you're feeling lonely, call me.
when you need someone to talk to, call me.
whatever it is. just call me.
it isnt as if my name is written all over your dialled calls list.
2 buttons is all you got to press, just to hear the dial-tone.
you dont need me to place my no. under speed-dial for you, do you?
maybe you do need me to do that!
alright. i will the next time i get my hands on your phone. (haha!)
its a little service that i'm providing for you.
oh, and its FOC!
dont worry, it aint much of a trouble.
besides, havent you once said that
doing such stuff is merely a long-term investment?

Title: I Got You
Artist: Nikki Flores

I've been waiting for a long time
For someone who can make my dreams come true
You've been with me for a long time
Helpin' me through, all that I have gotten through
And I'm thankful for everything
You do for me boy, and you know that I love you
I'll take care of anything you'll ever need

Ooh, when you're all by yourself baby
I got you
If you need someone to call baby
I got you
There's no need to be lonely
I got you
And I know that you got me too, boy

Ohh ah, yeah
Ohh ah, yeah

When you smile at me, it makes me weak
I can count on you boy to be there when I'm fallin'
I didn't have to change for you to see
That nothing can ever come between you and me
I need you for who you are
And all that I am when I'm standin' next to you
I'm so lucky to have you in my life

Ooh, when you're all by yourself baby
I got you
If you need someone to call baby
I got you
There's no need to be lonely
I got you
And I know that you got me too, baby

Your heart is with me and with nobody else
I'm tryin' to keep my cool but I can't help it
I can't imagine life without your love
Now and forever you're all I'm thinkin' of

When you're all by yourself
I got you
There's no need to be lonely
And I know that you got me too, boy

Ooh, when you're all by yourself baby
I got you
If you need someone to call baby
I got you
There's no need to be lonely
I got you
And I know that you got me too, boy

Ooh, when you're all by yourself baby
I got you
If you need someone to call baby
I got you
There's no need to be lonely
I got you
And I know that you got me too, boy

Ooh when you're all by yourself
You need someone - call me
I got you
When you're all by yourself
I got you, I got you, I got you
_________________________________________________________________

a little blah on the academy-wise.
i've attained a satisfactory sum of points for my L1B4.
but as for L1R5,
thinking about it simply makes my blood boils.
i have got to really buck up on my humanities.
its the killer thing.
i've got..less than a month to go.
if i can push my physics up 2 grades in less than a week,
why cant i for my humanities?
it isnt as if i've got no content for my essays.
its that i havent got a clue on the part of writing.
i'm forever writing aimlessly, beating around the bush.
never coming straight to the point.
as for the marking scheme on the part of humanities,
all the L1/1, L2/2/3, L3/4/5... stuff.
dont bother asking me about it.
i've got only one response for you, and that is..
shrugs shoulder: "i dont know."
since all 3 of my humanities teachers are (extremely) supportive of me,
and are (very-very double bond) willing to help me.
i cant bear to disappoint them can i? *angelic smile filled with sarcasm*

my main point is: miracles do happen,
its only a matter of whether you're determined to make them happen or not.

i'm sorry..

i dont want to. but i havent got a choice..

its 2am.
i should be sleeping.
i really should.
but i cant. i'm tired. i really am.
i dont mean being physically tired.. i mean that i'm mentally tired..
tired with all thats going around.
somehow..
whatever that i've been doing is wrong.
no one is satisfied with what im doing. no one appreciates what i've done.
everything that i've done has come down to a zero.

first.. i aint there for my family.
i'm not there for him when he needs me.
love, i apologize for that.
i knew how badly you needed me.
yet i couldnt be there.. i'm really sorry..
telling you to take things easy is merely sounding nice,
because i know that there is completely no way that you can take things easy now.
this has impacted you far too much. i cant just tell you to forget and move on.
no, i shant.
what i'm gonna tell you instead is to take this and bring it along with you as you move on.
she. has been and will be forever, part of your life.
there is no way that you can ever deny that fact.
telling you to forget her.. its just a bullshit phrase.
im not gonna tell you to smile for the sake of your family.
no, im not doing that.
if you wanna sulk, if you wanna be sad, if you wanna cry.
go on and be it.
but im giving you a time limit for how long that you be sad.
a day. thats all im giving you.
you cant possibly let this affair inflict a lasting scar upon you.
you cant possibly let it be the cause of the vanish of your smile.
this sounds nasty, but it aint worth it.
you're giving up a forest because of a flower?
there are others out there waiting for you.
you planning to show me that ugly sulky face of yours when i reach Australia?
eeeeew. come on....
you look completely horrendous in it.
i rather see that suave guy i've always known.
take this incident as a lesson.
keep it as a memory.
fold this memory, keep it in your pocket, hide it in your heart.
remember it. if you cant, pull it out of your pocket,
unfold that memory, look at it and remind yourself of it.
it hurts. i know it does. and how much it does.
its hurting you so much that it has not only wiped out that smile on your face,
but the twinkle in your eyes as well.
take a deep breath. and let it go..
the universal time waits for no one.
time might have seemed to stop in yours..
everything might have seem to be in slow motion now..
but thats only in your world.
not in reality.
let the past pass, let bygones be gone..
love, you know that i always am and always will be here for you when you need me..

secondly. girl..
i've told you tens, hundreds, thousands of time.
get over with it.
i've even told you the reason why you cant get over with it.
i've provided you with the solution to get over with it.
how many times have i persuaded you to? even i cant rmb the numbers.
its pointless telling me i dont know.
because i cant help you if you dont know.
only you. can help yourself.
its completely useless to constantly approach me,
telling me that you wanna cry now. how miserable you're feeling and etc.
the most that i can do is to provide you with a little comfort and care.
advices are bullshit since you never do and never will take them.
and the more i force them upon you to take it,
the more you'll hate me and i dont wanna put our friendship into risk.
you either tell him. or you dont.
you tell me that you dont wanna regret.
you tell me that you dont dare to face rejection.
well, let me tell you this.
you cant have them both.
you have got to pick one of them.
whats the point of complaining to me that time is not moving in your world,
when you yourself is not even letting it move?
you say everyone is changing but you aint.
well look at things this way,
we're all changing to suit to the changing world.
but you. the obstinate you.
refuse to allow the change take place upon you.
thats why you're suffering so much now.
i know how bloody hard it is to tell him.
but you've got to.
isnt there this phrase during wedding ceremonies,
say your piece now, or forever keep it in silence.
well.. you either say it now.
or you suffer from the consequences of keeping it in silence in the future.
i simply dont get what you're afraid of.
are you afraid of rejection? or are you afraid of embarrassment?
because from my point of view,
you're more afraid of embarrassment.
if he truly is the man that is so worthy of your love,
he would not mock you even if he rejects you.
sigh.. i've really run out of things to say.
the one last thing that i can say is..
tell him what you're feeling or live up to regret it in the future.

thirdly. this is to my 2 lil brothers.
look. as i've plainly said it 2 hours ago at your house.
i could jolly well choose to spend my time at home,
studying my physics and my chemistry.
but i've instead, chosen to opt those time out and help you 2 with your studies.
im not expecting the 2 of you to worship me for my kindness,
or go to the extend of licking the floor that i've stepped upon.
all i want is a little appreciation.
and less of that fucking attitude.
i want so much to give you two guys,
2 tight slaps in the face when you roll your eyes at me and
give me that tone of frustration.
i took time out to search those 4 exam papers from the internet.
everything that i do takes time.
and let me remind you again,
time waits for no one.
by spending time on you people doing that,
it means that i've got less time to do what i really want to do.
time which i plan to put it in other uses which would benefit me instead of you 2.
yet i've chosen to place the 2 of you priority against the things that would benefit me.
i spend 7 bloody hours at your place.
from 6pm to 1am.
all i am asking.. is for a little appreciation.
your lil sister, approaches me herself.
asking me to search for her from the internet, something for her to do.
anything for her to do.
so long as its work.
she is so eager to improve in her studies.
whenever she approaches me on how to do a question,
i'd teach her and she would thank me for it after that.
its really heartfelt to hear that little thank you.
unlike the 2 of you, all i get is a grunt and annoyance.
what kind of fucking attitude is that?
do you know how frustrating it is to really teach the both of you?
i'm only doing that for the sake of your father,
and because i dont want to see history repeat itself again.
lil bro, tell me.
do you want to once again feel that despair when you got back your psle results?
i doubt so.
so work hard now. its not too late..
nothing is ever too late.
take back those fucking attitudes. treat your dad better.
dont make him mad all the time. he has given you 2 whatever that you've wanted.
learn to appreciate what you've got..

lastly. this is to you.
i think you're probably the only one,
who would bother to read everything from the top to now.
and probably the only one who would understand everything i've said,
since i just told you about it an hour ago.
i'm really really thankful that you chose to come online.
you set aside your studies for me.
you've got so little time left. yet so many things to do.
bah... shant lecture you already.
since you've had enough of it on the phone already.

this post is being published 2 days later after its been written.
by right, i should have deleted it off.
by left(quoting from Mr Ngoh..), i shant.
since its what i wanna tell to some of the closest people in my life...

girlfriend, i love you.

since the prelims over, its a little girlfriend time!





ever since the prelims ended on 16/09/2008.
i've been feeling like a free bird.
i neednt face books immediately once i return home from school.
and. i can go out for a little stroll at shopping malls with my girl.
ever since last friday..

i've been going out with jingting.
been going to LOT1 at first, since its the nearest to our school.
we'd have lunch, then start walking around.
pausing to look at clothes, accessories, make-up & blah..
just whatever that catches our attention.
had tons of laughter together,
what with all the ridiculous things that we have spotted.
its been such a long time since i last enjoyed such a girlfriend outing.
no offence, but i rather go out with someone who appreciates my company.
one who laughs along with me, one who sees the things that i do.
one who gives me her opinions, her views and encourages me to do stuff.
thanks to her, i bought the ring which i fancied alot.
its not very extravagant in its looks or anything,
just plain ordinary. my type.
a simple band, with roman numerals of 1 to 12 carved upon it.
ridiculously plain. yet it caught my sight.
bah... i'm just one with weird tastes in stuff.
just like her. (ooops!)
isnt that why she's my girlfrienddddddd? :DDDD

anyway. thanks girl.
for accompanying me these days.
going to LOT1 with me to have lunch @ Pastamania,
just because i had a sudden craving for italian food.
going to J8 with me to have lunch @ Yoshinoya,
for no exact reason. (LOL!)
well.. at least you had a hearty eyeful of guys.
told ya to listen to me already, i know where there are guys to look at. (hehehehe.)
dont worry dear! i'm really really loyal!
i only show the places where there are guys to look at!
i never look at all! really!! =X
unlike her! got boyfriend still want see guys.. (tsk tsk tsk!)
kind of going off-track once again.
i'm suppose to be thanking her,
yet i have somehow strayed away from that main purpose,
and have ended up saying her. oh well!
you wont blame me wont you, girlfriend? :B

my sister is off to hongkong, having the time of her life!

My after-Os schedule is fully planned, fully-packed!

woke up at 10am this morning to see my sister to the airport.
she's going off to hongkong with her friend on vacation!
bon voyage big sis. rmb to buy things back for me as well! :DD




my parents wanted her to have her lunch before she boarded the plane.
so went to SAFRA Toa Payoh for lunch at this chinese restaurant, Mouth Restaurant.
honestly, i would rather have gone to SAFRA Mount Faber, Pioneer Spring Restaurant.
because the food there is so much better and so is the service.
the waiting stuff are much flexible as well.
even the name sounds so much better! unlike this one.....

okay. side-tracked alot.
anyway... after we ate, we proceeded on our way to Changi Airport Terminal 1.










my dad called our uncle who was working there to come down and have a chat.




my parents were talking about Japan with my uncle when my sister left for the departure hall.
me? well.. i was listening to the songs playing on Mp3.
but. i still managed to catch this sentence that my mom said.

"We're(referring to her and my dad) going to Japan next year."

its as though this time bomb went off in my head.
JAPAN? HOW COME I WASNT TOLD ABOUT IT?!

me: mom, what japan?
mom: me and dad are going to japan early january next year for our annual overseas conference. we are planning to bring you along if school hasnt started yet.

-in my mind- DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG! JAPANNNNNNNN!
whats more.. she still said this.

mom: you are going to take the airplane there by yourself, because me and dad were thinking that you would only come over after our conference meetings have ended or else you'd be cope up in the hotel with nothing to do.

COME ON.
i'd just turn 16 and i get to take the airplane by myself?!!?!
1 week after my birthday?!?!?!?!
nothing can be better than this! woooooots!
sounds kind of scary because i'll be fretting over where to go, whether i'll lose my passports, what i got to do all by myself and etc.
BUT HEY! there are direction panels and stuff around to guide me.
whats more. this aint my first time im not going overseas with my family.
i went to Thailand with my primary school when i was primary 5.
and hell! that was trip really required independence because i could not turn around and yell..
MOM! WHERE IS MY PASSPORT?
instead, i got to think where i had left my passport myself.
gosh.. i cant wait for the end of the O Levels.
Japan Japan JAPANNNNNNNNNN!
2 weeks after i return from Australia and zoom!
i'm off to the airport once again, heading for Japan.
i truly mean it when i say that nothing can be sweeeeeter than this.
okay. except for his honey-ed words. those are an exception.

till now, the after O Levels schedule is this.
1. Going on a shopping spree in Malaysia at this big shopping mall (i forgot the name).
2. Going on a Cruise to Nowhere. (I GET TO BE ON THE OCEAN FOR 24 HOURS!!)
3. Australia
4. Japan

CANT WAIT CANT WAIT CANT WAIT!
i'm so hyped up that i can feel my heart throbbing like mad against my chest.
and i might have exaggerated alot on taking the plane by myself to Japan.
hmm.. once the O Levels are over.
i'm so gonna get my mom to sign me up for some Japanese-speaking classes.
or i'd have a big communication problem when i'm in Japan.
yes, though there is English which i can use.
but its still better to use the mother tongue of that foreign country isnt it?
hmm.. i wonder if i'd see him when im in Japan.
because he did say that he'd be going to Japan as well.......