Hello!
Yes I'm still here. Not gone at all.
My social media sites have been rather dead. I guess I'm not one to actively post about everything I do for every minute of my life. The only social media site that I really care about is probably this one. Where I am left to pen my thoughts in creative ways which gives peace to my soul.
The exams are here. 5 weeks sooner than usual. I suppose this is the life of a final year student. Once again, I re-emphasise the joy that will come with my impending graduation.
It's 1:28 am and I am nowhere near the wrap-up of my revision. In fact I have barely memorised anything at all.
My head is filled with so much thoughts lately that I miss the serenity experienced during my gap year. It took me a whole year to clear my head, to feel myself and to be able to appreciate the world. And unfortunately, all that has been ripped from me again and I hate it.
I hate that the slight sway of the trees, the bursts of sunlight between the leaves of the trees, the rustle of the fallen leaves on the concrete pavement, the laughter from schools kids who have just ended their classes and are running home from school, the slow chugging by of a lorry, the chirping of a low-flying bird... have all ceased to take my breath away.
I am so caught up with the life of a Singaporean, aka rushing to catch up with everyone else in the crazy rat race.
I am forced to keep on running and I don't get to catch my breath, and I do not have time for the slower but beautiful things in life. If I'm slower, I will get left behind, devoured, buried and forgotten.
It's so cruel.
Nonetheless I'm glad that I will soon be out of this crazy rat race. This life is not for me.
I'm sorry mom, I'm sorry dad.. but I will find another way to earn a living because working in a hospital or having a job in the health industry simply equates to living a life like a rat again and I can't stand it. I won't disappoint you guys and be a failure in life. There are more ways to living life than to be a rat. I'll find my own way, make the best out of it and make a name for myself. I guarantee that.
Soph
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