Fool

You know what, I feel like a fool.
A fool that is waiting for a miracle to happen.
Although I know very well, that the miracle is not going to take place.

You know what, I'm tired. I'm really tired.
I'm tired of waiting all the time.

You know what, I just asked ee-ore, what should I do?
And guess what, he couldn't reply me either because he is just a stuffed toy.

You know what, I'm having a raging fever now.
But I'm not resting because I'm still holding onto that bleak gleam of hope.
I'm hoping for that miracle to take place.
I'm hoping that for once, you'll keep your promise.

All I've got now is just my stuffed donkey, my tutorials and my music to keep me accompany.
But what I really need is you.
Do you know that?
I doubt you do........

And most probably, you're just going to dismiss me again tonight.

All in all, although I really feel like hating you. But I simply cant.
Because I love you still.



I'm still waiting...

When the going gets hard...

There are times when you just wish that you can walk away from all the problems.
Leaving everything behind, going somewhere else and starting anew...
I doubt I can leave everything behind me and just go though.
Because I know that there are several things here which I'll miss and I will never be able to let go..

Enough said. Pile of tutorials waiting for me.
Later.

Xoxo.

For those who can't stand reading an entry filled with anger, please leave immediately.

"Hold on. Baby, you're losing it. The water's high, you're jumping into it, and letting go... And no one knows. That you cry, but you don't tell anyone. That you're not the golden one. And you're tied together with a smile. But you're coming undone....."

Dux boy,

I might have laughed along with the others at your joke but honestly, it hurts real badly.
Do you know why, because you're not ANYONE. You're family, that is why it hurts so badly.
You think its funny. You don't think before you speak. You just shoot everything out so everyone can laugh.
And do you know what is the worst thing that you did? You dragged my boyfriend into the joke. Do you know what you are doing? Let me remind you again, what you BLOODY HELL did.

"You better be careful tomorrow because there will be another chunkier girl present. Kenny would be like Oh god! There's another girl who's more chunky than my girlfriend!!"

You not only insulted me, you insulted another cousin of yours too.
At that point of time, I had two choices.
1. To give you a dressing down.
2. To laugh along with the others at your pathetic joke.
And I chose the latter. Because I didn't wanna ruin the night.
You might have apologised but that is only because I MADE YOU DO IT. And thank goodness you did, or else I might have blown apart at that very moment.

Yes, I admit that I might be slightly more plump when compared to an average singapore teenage girl. I'm not bone-skinny. I do not have a bamboo structure.
But so what, I am healthy and I eat normally.
What about YOU?
Do I have to be anorexic to be term as being THIN? Do I have to be like that?!?!?!?

Do I have to be like YOU? Eat only like what, a tablespoon of rice for every meal?
Because you have a weird theory that Hey! If I take an average amount of carbohydrates for every meal, I WILL BE FAT!
Seriously, wake up boy.
You should be thankful that you need not serve full-time National Service anymore because you are no longer a Singaporean. Or else, you will be suffering severe consequences.
OR perhaps, you are already suffering from the effects from not eating normally already.
Look at your own backbone. My father and my sister have already proven and shown you that your backbone is CROOKED. And why is it so? Because you are lacking of nutrients. And again, why? Because you take a measly one tablespoon of rice for every meal.
Everyone is sick of telling you to eat more. Everyone is tired of your whinings that you'll get fat if you eat a tablespoon more of rice.
So we are all just letting you have your own way since you prefer the hard approach to things.

I still can't digest the fact that you actually dragged my boyfriend into the joke.
So what if he loves a girl who isn't average-singaporean-teenage-girl thin?
At least it proves that he loves me for who I am. Unlike you.
You judge at a person's outer-appearance more than their inner beauty.
As your cousin, I AM ASHAMED OF YOU.
You can go ahead and do that to anyone else, BUT NEVER TO YOUR FAMILY.
Have you not learn anything from the supper incident? My guess is that you haven't.
You know, I fucking hate you for taking my outer-appearance and our cousin's as a joke.
Do you freaking know that it hurts to hear people call you fat?
Let me tell you this for the first and last time. You are in no position to call me or Qing fat because we are not.
You want to know what fat is? Fat is this.

See, WE ARE FAR FROM THAT. So you better shut your trap up, watch your mouth and use your brain more.
No one would take you to be a dumb if you keep silent.

I'm forgiving you for it this time because you are my cousin and I still love you.
Don't make the same mistake again. And dont you EVER drag my boyfriend into one of your stupid jokes again.
I hope that all that I've said have gotten into your head and not anywhere else.

And I'm done unleashing all my unhappiness. Goodbye.

Screw mixpod.com

So did you notice the difference in this entry compared to the rest?
It's lacking of a sub-title.
You know the one that is normally underlined and coded in red.
Genevieve is making a new blogskin for me. So while she is still working on it.
I thought it would be best if I start correcting my habit of writing a sub-title.
It started 2 years ago when I changed a blogskin and that blogskin was meant for xanga.com.
And somehow, I couldn't publish the title of my entry so I started creating one myself.
Eventually, I changed a blogskin again but I kept the idea of making a sub-title, and I ended up creating more trouble for myself because.. instead of thinking of ONE title, I've got to think of TWO titles.
At times, I simply delete the half-written entry all together because it just doesn't make sense. -.-
So for once, I SHALL MAKE LIFE EASIER FOR MYSELF!

Oh and about mixpod.com, screw it!
It is now a MUST to have music players that can play music video as well, or else you can't work the music player. Which also means that you can't play any songs! %@^$@&^*%%#@$&#@@$
Until Genevieve is done with my new blogskin, I shall survive without any songs for the moment.

It is my second and last year in Cj.
I shall make this year a fruitful year, filling it up to the brim with loads of memories.
Instead of passing each day as it is, boring days = nothing to remember about.
Not what I want my 2010 to be. It's a decade since the new millenium! Shall past it wisely.
And naturally, I am gonna get through it with my baby (:
To think.. I just sat for a national exam 2 years ago. And I am gonna sit for another one this year. Life truly sucks at times. But I'll live through it.

I know it is a little too late to think back about 2009.
But there is one thing which I gotta note about the previous year.
Sparky, Rest In Peace. 2008-2009
Yeap, my favourite hammie died. Apparently, he got into a fight with Fluffy one night.
Baby woke up the next day in the afternoon, went to check on the hammies and realised that Sparky was lying on one side, on the floor of the cage, motionless.
He poked Sparky several times but my hammie still did not move.
He turned Sparky over and saw that one of his eyes had been gorged out by Fluffy during the fight. And thus... the death of my favourite hamster.
We had Sparky buried in the front yard of the Yeoh's estate.
The hamster that screamed at baby and gave us a whole lot of trouble when it was young, would forever live in our memory....

Alright, I'm badly distracted by Facebook. And baby is coming early in the morning tomorrow.
I shall first feed my curiousity about the latest updates on fb before going to bed.
Night chicks and dudes.

Xoxo.

Welcome 2010!

My 17th birthday!

Firstly, Happy New Year people.
You've probably heard that ten thousand times already. Just like I have.
My phone has been vibrating non-stop since 6pm and it has merely gotten worst after the clock pointed its hand at 12.
My lousy phone has already re-started itself automatically 7 times. -.-

Anyway, as you peeps know, it was my birthday on the 30th.
Just in case some people didnt get to see my thanks on fb, or failed to receive my thank-you text (for those who wished me through SMS).
THANK YOU TO ALL WHO WISHED ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY OR HAVE PARTICIPATED IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, IN MAKING MY 17th BIRTHDAY A MEMORABLE ONE. ♥

I need to thank one person especially because he woke up early in the morning at 9 for me even though he slept late the previous night. And to be truthful, he sort of woke up early for no reason because we didn't catch the movie that we were planning to catch that very morning. And he kept me company the whole day. Morning till night. He must be exhausted, actually he is exhausted. Thank you baby for keeping me company for the whole entire day, for doing so many things for me, for getting me those brilliant gifts that I'll always cherish (:
I really can't help but love you so much.

I shall briefly talk about how I spend my 30 December 2009.
Baby and I were suppose to catch the 11AM "Alvin & the Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel" @ WestMall.
However, at 10.30AM, we just walked into MacDonalds near my place to have breakfast.
By the time we ate finish and decided to take a bus to WestMall, it was 10.58AM already!
We arrived at WestMall at 11.20AM, we were like "Aiya, we watched the first few minutes on the net already so nevermind lah!"
Took an elevator up to the cinema and we were greeted with a long awaiting queue at the ticketing booth.
So we gave up catching the 11AM movie and chose to tour around the shopping mall.
We came across this paint/glue/sticker-making kinda place. I can't call it a shop or whatever since its parked at a empty place in the middle of some shops.
And, we made a baby Mickey!


We followed this cake brochure that the shop lady gave us and painted it accordingly.


I was trying to salvage the mickey because baby was all, "Put more put more! Just let the paint flow!" He ended up putting so much that it overflowed and thus, the yellow and white were close to mixing together.



This is the end-product of our efforts! It's pretty isn't it? It's going to be stuck on baby's mirror in his bathroom! :D


For lunch, we were joined by Sin Hui & Jia Her at CCK's NewYork NewYork because those pretty girls decided to take some time out and celebrate for me.




Honestly, they were trying to make me fat. A wonderful slice of Oreo Cheesecake.
I think I gained like 3kgs from eating that slice of cake. Not good! :S



My hot plate pasta with grilled dory fish. Yums! + A plate of salad. COUGHS!



Sin Hui & Jia Her ordered almost the same thing. Fish N Chips. Just that Sin Hui's was spicy and Jia Her's was original.



Baby's hawaiian teriyaki chicken. Ok, I don't think its teriyaki but I definitely know its hawaiian because I remember the grilled pineapple on top of the chicken!



My lovely girls:



Group-photo! ♥



After that, all of us went to watch Alvin & the Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel! (Like finally.....)
And after the movie, the chipmunk songs were going right round right round in my head.
I was high after hearing their songs, so I kept on singing them on the way home and poor baby had to tolerate my yucky singing. Oops! :P



We rushed home straight after the movie because we were having dinner with my parents, dajie and my little bro.









After the fabulous dinner, we went for a walk because we were too bloated.
And, it was also the time when we started to get HIGH and CRAZY!







AND MY FAVOURITE PICTURE OF THE DAY!



♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Well, except for my annoying little bro who is the blur at the right side of the picture. Grrr...
But all in all, it's still okay (:
And that is how I spent my 17th Birthday!

Xoxo.

P.S. This entry came out 3 days late! Sorry!!