Crashed and Burned

Saturday, May 9, 2009

I'm feeling weak. Mentally.



Its 2.54AM. I'm supposed to be in bed.
Its either the 5hours of nap that I took or my thoughts that is keeping me awake.
Or perhaps, both of them are the reasons why.
Give me a reason to smile. Give me a reason to speak.
Give me a reason to open myself to the rest of the world.
Someone please tell me what's wrong with me?
I need my cure. I want to smile. I want to laugh. I want to be me again.
Where am I? Lost..in the middle of nowhere.

For once... I should make an effort to stand up on my own two feet.
To no longer depend on others. To depend on myself. To be independent.
If I'm lost, there isn't a point in standing at the same spot,
screaming "SOMEONE, PLEASE HELP ME!"
The effort made is not enough. Its not sufficient.
Take the extra effort to walk yourself out of the maze.
You'll feel much better than just receiving help,
because you know you're the one helping yourself. Not some other person.
Stop sulking. Stop weeping.
Get your lazy bum off the ground. Pick yourself up.
Go & search for yourself. Go & find who you really are, again.
Be yourself. Be who you are.

There was once when I threw all my philosophies away.
I became a stranger. I became someone that even I didn't know.
I felt the world collapse upon me. I felt the sun dying.
Lucky me, found a way out. I survived through the ordeals.
I'm now living a brand-new life.
I once swore that I'll live my life to the fullest now.
I had once allowed life to slip through my fingers, & I regretted doing that.
Its something that'll never happen again.
I'm going to pick myself up. I'm going to be me again.
That will all start once I wake up later in the morning.
For now, I'll turn this computer off, go to bed and get some sleep.

Its a brand-new day tomorrow.
Its a fresh start. Its going to be my day.