What a joke.

Monday, January 12, 2009

I've done my best, thats all that matters.

heaven played a really great joke on me.
i worked like nuts for my Os.
gave up countless of nights. worked & worked till dawn.
and how was i rewarded? pathetically.
i wished for a 10 for my O levels.
and minus-ing the bonus points that i had,
i got an exact 10.
yeah, what a joke.
i worked like nuts, & my nett score turned out to be fourteen.
i couldnt help but cry when i received my results.
what i had in mind was a single-digit score.
wasnt there a old phrase,
things that come in a pair is better.
yeah, shit crap!
this isnt the time for double stuff.

sigh.. its no use crying over spilled milk.
life has still gotta go on.
the only thing that troubles me the most,
is disappointing honey. what high hopes that he had pinned on me.
& i failed him miserably.
sweet as he always is, still standing beside me.
thank you honey (:

my father once told me a story of his friend.

Dad: I've got a friend, he is a professor.
He told me that, recently, he went for a class gathering, organized by a few of his ex-classmates in Secondary School. They haven't met for decades of years already. So, as they were conversing, his friends asked what was his occupation.
& when he replied them that he was a professor now, no one would believe him.
His friend was a really ordinary student back in School.
He wasn't a top student, he wasn't favoured by the teachers, he didn't excel in his co-curricular activites. He was just that ordinary in academically.
All of his grades were simply average.
However, he was a professor now. Whereas, unlike his friends..
Some of his friends were top students back in Secondary School,
yet none of them manage to achieve to a degree as high as he was.
He always worked to get a passable, average grade.
He worked to get what he wanted, just that required amount.
& what'd ya know.. he is a professor now.
So you see, my daughter.. top grades are not really everything. What matters the most is how far you can study till. How long would you persevere on?

today, as he was comforting me..
he once again, told me of this story.
yes, i might have gotten average results. i might not be a shining star now.
but i will be like his friend.
i would persevere for the longest, for the furthest.
& one day, my hard labour would be rewarded.
i will finally get the sweetest fruit i want.
i'll one day, be a shining star.
Thank you dad, for your words. i'll always remember them.

after getting my results, i dialled for my mother.
requesting her to come pick me up, immediately.
all i had in mind, was to get back home, retreat to my bed and cry to sleep.
i was hoping that all this was simply a bad dream.
& after waking up, they'd all be gone.
my mom however, beg to differ otherwise.
this was what she told me..

Mom: now now, dont cry anymore.
look.. when you go interviewing for a job in the future,
would people ask you how much did you get for your O levels?
No! they wont.
what they'd be asking for is..
did you get first class honours? or second class honours?
did you get a diploma? or a degree?
do you have a double degree?
people wouldn't be asking you silly things like how much did you get for your psle? how did you score for your O levels?
those are the things that they'll be enquiring from you.
so it doesnt matter how much you get now,
you know that you've put in alot of effort,
& be glad that you've got schools to continue studying in.
take your sister for an example.
she didnt do very well for her psle. she didnt go to a brilliant secondary school.
she didnt achieve top grades for her O levels.
but look at her now, she has graduated from Nanyang Poly,
with a diploma in Nursing. she has been certified for her excellence in service.
& in a couple more of weeks,
she is heading to Perth, to further her studies,
in the University of Curtin. aiming to achieve a degree in Nursing.
look at her. it isnt about the grades that matters,
it is about the perseverance.

you're right mom.
whats the point of crying and crying and crying.
all i'd get are swollen eyes from all the crying & a terrible headache.
they aint worth it.
Thanks mom, for the words of enlightment.

despite my mom's words,
i still couldn't stop my tears from flowing.
just then, my sister came home & it was her turn to comfort me.

Sis: Baby.. why are you crying..? dont cry..
Baby..you got a 14! thats very good already. i got a 19 last time.
in the past,
i was happy enough knowing that i had many choices of school to study in.
& the choices i had were not lousy courses!
if i had a 14, i think i'd be super elated already!
dont cry.. there there.
see baby, i bought you a little gift.
*pulls out a black plastic bag, containing my favourite Ralph Lauren perfume*

i beamed through my tears.
there you are, my dearest sister.
never fails to cheer me up.
only then did my tears stop flowing,
& i was finally willing to get my mind working,
thinking what school i should get enrolled in next.
she helped me by giving me suggestions & advices,
backing me up to reject the ridiculous suggestions my parents are giving.
honestly,i've never been more proud to admit that she's my sister.
& im thankful that she is my sister, not others.
thank you big sis (:

life isnt that short,
nor is it that long.
so we should cherish every moment.
the earth never stops rotating,
the universe never waits.
whats done is done,
whats gone is gone.
look forward to the future.
& thats what im going to do.
there are many paths laid ahead of me now,
& im definitely not picking the path of failure.
i wanna be successful in my life too.
so on one of these many paths,
lies another chapter of my life to be written.
im gonna go forward & walk on.
im gonna write that chapter of my story & continue writing on.
this is what life is about.
learn & move on.